TurkeyLand! Gobble, Gobble, Gobble, TURKEYLAND!*

(* Chorus from traditional Parowan Elementary Thanksgiving Song. My dad sings it. And it is incredible.)

In the hierarchy of Lauren's Favorite Holidays, Thanksgiving ranks pretty much near rock bottom (just below Rosh Hashanah). For a person who doesn't eat turkey, this holiday holds little appeal. However, I whole heartedly embrace any reason to go to St. George. Plus, with all the awesomeness that transpired this Turkey Season, the holiday may have to move up in my ranking system:

I’ve missed out on the awesomeness that is the Jubilee of Trees the past few years. So I was overjoyed to make it just in time for the final day! Our Neighbor Mrs. Doty sponsored several sections of it – had to get a picture with the giant poster of her. There were some cool trees- but the entire Jubilee was a lot smaller than usual. I think the downsizing was indicative of the recession, which appears to have hit my beloved STG quite hard. 

Due to the fact my mom’s kitchen is still being remodeled, we did Thanksgiving with one oven at my Grandma’s house. It all worked out and the food was as always delightful. 

We got to enjoy it with both sets of Grandparents, plus my Uncle Nate and cousin Allie.

kat, biting into the turkey neck, that my mom boils, just incase there's insufficient gravy. yeah.
 I made improvement on pies (though last years was more of a chocolate soup) and rolls (read: unrisen rocks) from last year – but I still have a ways to go before I achieve Thanksgiving Chef Star Status. 

In an effort to combat post-glutton day obesity, the ever thin Anna organized the first ever “BENSON FAMILY TURKEY TROT.” It was a relay composed of .5 mile and 1 mile legs.  

My team won, (almost solely because of my supernaturally fast Dad), and was rewarded with fine trophies courtesy of Anna. Many have already begun training for next year’s endeavor. 

Every time I go home I harbor the hope that this will be the time I will leave without crying. That I will finally be a grown up and able to leave my family without a breakdown. No such luck, as my puffy eyes would indicate. I persevere knowing that I shall return in 3 short weeks for Christmas, thereby giving me another chance at a dry-eyed departure. It could happen. But it probably won't. 

I miss each one of them too much. Even the obese beagle. Especially the obese beagle. 

Primary Lesson Not Learned

My little CTR friends have been outta control lately. There are now 9 consistent comers, 3 of whom I believe should be on Ritalin. I decided to imploy some bribery on Sunday and bring a treat - which was not easy since one kid is forbidden from eating gluten and J-Horse is "Deathly allergic to peanuts. That means if I eat peanuts, I will die!" Bribery worked and order was restored to our class in so much that I could deliver a lesson on forgiveness. I also gained another J-Horse gem, "Sister Mealy, can I make a comment that is off topic?(he really talks like this!) The opposite of forgiveness is revenge. When someone does something mean to us, and we do something mean back , that is called REVENGE! Jesus doesn't want us to get REVENGE!"

Flash forward to Tuesday. I was minding my own business, reading a new cookbook and listening to NPR in the car as I waited for Dan to get done at PT. Next thing I know, someone bangs the side of my car with their fist. I roll down my window and proceed to be yelled at by a Marine for my lack of patriotism. Apparently (I didn't hear over the radio, I honestly have diminished hearing) I missed that they were retiring the flag, and should have gotten out of my car. I don't handle being yelled at well. Not at all. I proceeded to ball my eyes out for the next hour and a half. Then I began to think how I could take action.... I now have decided to return to BYU and join ROTC, become a Marine Corp officer, become this dude's commander, and punish him mercilessly till the end of time. 

What was that you were saying about revenge, J-horse?

If this was half way, not the finish, I would kill Myself

We ran a Marathon. 

Well, technically it was only half of one - but I dare you to tell my quads it was only 13.1. They will not believe you. Despite being voluntary torture,  it was actually quite fun overall. The Big Sur half Marathon (which does not take place in Big Sur) is officially my favorite race thus far in my extensive (not) career: beautiful day, well organized, great course, and nice tech shirts (they even had the pink ones in women's sizes for the girls, that sealed the deal for me!)

One downfall: It was crazy crowded! The first two miles were spent just weaving in and out of the crowds and jockeying for personal space. 7,000 people participated - they had to start us in several waves and caged us in estimated finish time corrals. 

I had two goals for this race: 

1) To not despise running after said race, and want to run again

2) Finish under two hours. 

I caught Dan at Mile 10 and we stuck together the rest of the way, but when I looked down at my watch and realized I was pretty close to not finishing under 2, I decided to sprint as fast as I could the last quarter mile. 

I thought Dan was next to me, but apparently he didn't pick up on the strategy. I ended up beating him by a bit - which the Champion of Artichokes is none too pleased about. But I accomplished both my goals, so its all for the cause. 

We got nifty ceramic medals and a box for food after crossing the finish. The food tent was pretty sweet. I  loaded up with fruit and a bagel and a muffin, and then I went to grab a hard earned and much deserved sugar cookie. And I was denied! "If you got a muffin, you can't have a cookie!" What?!? Had I known that I never would have touched this vile poppy-seeded monstrosity. 

And that was the worst part of the whole event. So help me, I will get a cookie next time!

Before moving here, Monterey was described to me as "Paradise." But if this is Paradise, I would like my townhouse to be in the 7th circle of hell, please; I'd feel more comfortable there. I found myself to be very unhappy for the first while we were here... I felt my hard earned arabic brains melting away as I led a seemingly inane existence. I felt like I was stagnating and being passed by as my peers back at BYU were graduating, getting jobs, and moving on. Then I ran (well, actually walked a fair amount) of an Artichoke filled 5k. It felt good. So I set a goal, a lofty one for someone who could only run a single mile without stopping. I signed up to run the Big Sur Half Marathon. Exercise gave me a purpose, a goal, and  quantifiable progress as I got faster and ran longer.  Doing our long runs together on Saturday mornings  gave Dan and I a rare chance to share a common interest (though I'm thinking of getting into this new Call of Duty Black Ops, NOT). So cheesy as it sounds, I feel like this Half Marathon changed my life. You may now throw up. 

Allah Akbar & Happy Halloween!

Choosing a costume this year turned out to be a wee bit of an ordeal. Dan stipulated that his costume  must not involve tights. And as we all know, every good couple's costume must involve tights (Poision Ivy + Batman, Tinkerbell + Peter Pan, etc. etc). I finally decided that I should be "I dream of Genie" with Dan as the Airforce Master.

It was perfect, all he'd have to do is borrow an Airmen friend's Class As. Dan "spoil sport" Mealy refused to even masquered as a member of the "Chair Force" ( I think he's jealous of them, I know I am, they have nice things.).

So we compromised, I kept my Genie Idea, he got some use out of the Man Dress I bought him in Egypt, and we were a Sheik and a Harem Girl.
 Or, Princess Jasmine and Aladdin's Uncle, in Sunbeam terms. Speaking of Sunbeams, I got to see a few of my little friends at Trunk or Treat:

A darling Scuba Diver - love the creativity and homemade costume.

My Cuddliest Sunbeam, as a Darling Cinderella.

My favorite little buddy who likes to tell me "secrets", as Princess Jasmine.

You know you have a good costume when you and a 4 year old match.

We kept our trunk Decor pretty simple for Trunk OR Treat (which was pretty lame this year).

After Dan made a costume change into the much less PC role of Jihadi Terrorist (I opted in favor of keeping my costume as least offensive as possible) we headed to the real event: THE MONSON ANNUAL HALLOWEEN PARTY. There were some good costumes there....

Rick as Chuck & Sue, the Fairy!

The Bills (the slingshot monkey was a big hit)

The Buchanans (Tobias Funke from Arrested Development. Classic!)

The fabulous Party Throwers, Bonni & Pete, from Iron Man 2

(note: there were lots of other people there in cool costumes, but I felt weird asking people I didn't know to pose for a picture, for my blog.)

One of the reasons Halloween is my favorite holiday: fun and delicious food (way better than Thanksgiving FYI)

I made Spiderweb Sugar Cookies (and found a roll-out recipe that actually tastes good!) and Lion House Rolls (dyed to look like pumpkins, partially worked)

Pumpkin Rolls, Popcorn Balls, Skeleton Chip dip, Homemade Root Beer, Pumpkin Chili, and my personal favorite: Kitty Litter Cake! Mad props to Bonni & Sue.

There was a "Catwalk Costume Contest." It was funny because "Link from Zelda" (I thought he was Robin Hood) and Dan were they only ones who recieved votes on the secret ballots. They were neck and neck for the win....

But Dan won by one vote! I'm pretty sure it was his performance on the catwalk that put him over the top...his shooting (the airsoft) gun in the air and yelling "Allah Akbar" was a nice touch.

There was also "Gourd Bowling"

And a Mummy piñata! 

The Monson's went all out with decor too. It was a KA party. And a KA Halloween. 
Allahu Akbar. 

Sometimes you have to Boo Yourself

In the Holy State of Utah, generally in mid October, people bake delicious delights, package them with a paper ghost, and abandon them on your doorstep. It is known as "BOO-ing" someone.

Dan advised me against starting the tradition in a non-Utah non-Mormon area. He explained that doorbell ditching anything on someone's doorstop in Los Angeles would be sufficient provocation for a gun fight, EVEN if one was doorbell ditching GINGERSNAPS. 

Still I held out hope that Monterey would emerge from being the most awful place on planet earth, and someone would "Boo" us. Today I gave up and decided to "Boo" myself. What started out as an innocent baking session escalated into chaos when our Landlord asked me if I could please not leave the house all day while workers of Hispanic origin re-painted the stairs to our apartment (how convient). I was trapped in a  candy filled apartment. And what resulted was not healthy.

I made 3 varieties of cookies. Gingersnaps, Chocolate Chip, and Peanut Butter Cup to be exact. Don't worry, I packaged a few up and shared the boo-ing bounty with others.

 But not before I ate myself into a cookie coma. 

Also significant this month: "Spend Free October" went well... Kind of. I learned a few things, like that a family of 2 has no business with a Costco membership. Especially when only one of those persons likes the food bought there. I just threw away a giant thing of pesto, mango salsa, and baby spinach - all of which seemed like awesome ideas at the time. "I can totally eat a quart sized jar of pesto. In a month. By myself!" Wrong.

this stuff is like whole foods crack. i've tried shooting directly into my veins.
The grocery budget is the hardest part for me. I have suffered far more than Dan. His beloved $3 triscut pizzas fit a lot better into the budget than my $9 a jar maple almond butter & $12 local organic green plums... I have a fetish for fancy cat food. Sue me.

you don't want to open and envelope like this
We were doing so well and saving so much money, we decided to go ahead and splurge and buy plane tickets to STG for Thanksgiving! I was overjoyed. Then, the day after said tickets were purchased, the registration on the car was up ($160), when printing the form our 6 yr old printer bit the dust ($100), and the IRS sent us a letter demanding money to be paid on a bonus Dan got last year ($600). Yeah, not as much in the surplus fund division as anticipated. 

french is hard, but he's "hanging in there"! hahaha
Dan lost his Young Men's Job. He was the Priest Advisor, but our last 18 year old went off to college, leaving our ward Preist-less. Don't worry, he already has a new calling: Gospel Doctrine Teacher. Guess we better find the Gospel Doctrine Manual in French - double studying. His French Program is moving lightening fast - as fluency is expected in just 6 months. I'm proud of Dan and how hard he is working in this class. Even if I get a teensy tiny bit annoyed when I realize that on date night, whilst pretending to listen to my really important story about a blog I read, he is secretly doing vocab flashcards under the table....

As for me, I continue to help alleviate the ever growing problem of facial wrinkles in the affluent Pebble Beach population. Outside of my job, I'm still loving my spinning classes and forcing myself to run. My Spin Teacher has promised Halloween music on Friday. And sadly enough, I'm super excited. The thought of doing jump drills to Thriller has me more excited than the average 4 year old is for Disneyland. Couple that with excitement at the knowledge that I have Reese's Peanut Butter Pumpkins hidden away for my personal consumption this weekend... Oh man,  I just I don't know how I'm going to sleep tonight.

BIG SUR XXX

No, it wasn't an Adult Entertainment Convention (my first thought).

Or a Straight Edge Meeting (Dan's first thought).

Rather, it was the 30th presentation of the Big Sur River Run 10k - Dan and I's first race post the infamous artichoke run. First off, the shirts were nowhere near as cool as sunglasses clad artichokes w/ legs, but still somewhat crazy looking.

But I seriously loved this race, it was beautiful. It ran through the campgrounds of Pfiffer Park, right along the river. 

(this is the ultra marathoner dude who won. he can run 100 miles. I hate him.)

Campers came out and cheered an banged on pans, there were two bands playing along the course, and it was actually sunny (of course it was raining and cold back on Gloom Mountain). 

(Dan and the Navy Seal, enjoying post-race Popsicles, courtesy of my beloved Whole Foods)

The Navy Seal in our ward actually lapped me and had enough energy to cheer me on while doing so (the course was made of a few loops). I felt bad as I was exerting myself at full force when I realized he was running 5 minute miles. Dang Navy Seals.

(with such a sweet bib number, how could I not get a PR?)

Also, let it be known that L. Mealy finished in front of D. Mealy - the Artichoke Champion has been dethroned!!! But he did have a handicap. The race started at 10 am, we usually do our runs at 6 am, and never eat before. Dan totally ate breakfast because this race was so late. And he totally ended up throwing it up. 

(she looked like Coach Bieste from Glee)
This big bodybuilder woman was impressed with his hard coreness and congratulated him on his vomit, hahaha. 

Our running efforts will culminate in a few weeks at the Big Sur Half Marathon. Then I can finally start my Ultra Marathon Training. Or go back to eating Croissants full-time. It's still TBD.