Christmas in Clinton

Christmas in Clinton had all the right ingredients for a perfect holiday: lots of food, lots of family, and most importantly, NO SNOW (not even frost on my windshield!). Twas truly wonderful.

We made a pre christmas trip to Bountiful to see our pals the Streeters. They successfully escaped Gloom Mountain in July and Monterey hasn't been the same since. Also, they decided to be traitors and went ahead and had a baby. Just kidding, he's a cute little guy and we're very happy for them. Really.

Christmas Day we slept in, leisurely opened presents, and relaxed. Molly made out like a bandit.

Dan said it was his "best christmas presents" year ever!!! Highlights: tomahawk (pictured above), giant knife/(ka-bar kukri machete), shooting earmuffs, fine north face clothing, gun scope, and new five fingers! The tomahawk was immediately taken outside and thrown around the yard. Boys and their toys....

Dan and I got this beautiful Minerva Tinchert painting of Christ for our house (those are my gel fingernails going strong there). 

Later Dan's relatives (2nd cousins and the like) came over for a nice Christmas Dinner.

I was the dessert czar: coconut cream pie, chocolate budnt glazed with peppermint, and a gingerbread pumpkin cheesecake.

A christmas miracle occurred when Dan found a way to make Molly like him: throwing her high in the air, plopping here on the couch, tickling, signing for "more", repeat. Pretty cute.

I didn't have to resort to cheap tricks to get Molly's love. I simply provided her with a "mink" (my binky = mink). This little monkey made us seriously consider getting one of our own. She was so much fun. No worries, we came to our senses and are back to baby hating.

Posing for a picture with Dan's Nana before departing. Except departing got complicated when our trusty Civic decided to have problems... Three jump starts, one mechanic trip, and replacement battery later (December is the most expensive month ever!) and we were on our way south.

We stopped in "Happy Valley" to meet up with our long lost friends, Jesse and Danielle.

I'd been holding out for Cafe Rio (still haven't had it yet) but Dan was "DYING OF STARVATION! PERSHING AS WE SPEAK!", so Jesse guided us to the nearest Mexican joint. It was pretty delious, especially the above fatty nachos. Never mind that there were a few hairs found, "added fiber". Plus the company more than made up for it, we miss the Richs (fellow co-patriots in the Childless and Proud Club). We are now enjoying every minute we can in the STG before our inevitable return to the torturous trap of Monterey. Let's not think about it. Let's think happy thoughts. Cafe Rio. Cafe Rio. Cafe Rio. 

Find joy in the Journey. Except when the Journey is 13 hours.

It's been over a week since I blogged. Don't worry (I'm sure you weren't), we survived the grueling drive and made it to the land of promise! I am writing this from within the Zion state. We made it here just in time for some birthdays ("So close to Christmas? That must have been hard."*).

My BFF Branda turned the big 23! To celebrate we ate sandwiches at the Great Harvest and got gel manicures. Side Story:
I may have drunken 90 ounces of Diet coke.
The Asian nail lady may have not let me use the bathroom in fear I would mess up the polish.
 I may have peed my pants... Like noticeably peed my pants. Just maybe.
Anyway, I miss B. And her little guy even kind of likes me now! Good times all around.

My Grandpa (who now lives in the STG) turned the even bigger 78! Kat and I made him a Carrot Cake. Even though I am morally opposed to dessert that A) doesn't have chocolate and B) contains vegetables. It was actually good. After our stop in STG, we continued onward.

(had to take a pic of Dan's plate. So much color! So much nutrition!)
Along our journey up to the Northern Parts, we stopped at the illustrious Chuck-a-Rama in Draper, for the "Benson Family Gathering." My family (the Stan Benson family) is known as the "late family." In the words of my dad: "We haven't been on time since 1986." So you can imagine his elation when we arrived to Chuck-a-Rama EARLY. Like 15 minutes early. Like before everyone else early. So early, that he went and got a plate, ate it all, and had it cleared before his family arrived. He is still currently reveling in this fact. 

We were very excited to see our niece (who we haven't seen since she was 3 months old) and our brand new nephew! The little guy is just a couple days old.

Dan is obsessed with trying to win Molly's affections. Really though, how can one resist the darlingness that is our little red headed, piggy tailed, big blue eyed niece?

Though I have done a lot of trash talking about STG's preeminence, it turns out that I love Clinton! Between going to Body Pump at Gold's Gym in Roy, and finding my beloved Fage Yogurt at a Super Target in Riverdale, I am ready to become a northern Utahn. Dan and I want to buy us a foreclosed townhouse in Syracuse right now. We'll cut our losses and not even make the 13 hour drive back to Monterey for our belongings. Just leave it all there... Sorry Mr. Bitey.
(* Arrested Development Quote. You really should watch it.)

Christmasing

In exchange for food and an occasional pat on the head, Mr. Bitey submits himself to torture. Dan picked up this lovely cat beanie on our ornament Target trip. Christmas Cat, it is simply hilarious.

On Friday we attended our Ward Christmas Party. It was fun to see all the decor, as Bonni was in charge of it and we got to help a bit. I got to hold a santa baby, watch my beamers sing songs and hit each other with "rhythm sticks." Good times.

I think the differences in families and the merging of them in marriage becomes most apparent during the holidays. Everyone does Christmas differently. I tried this year to find out more about Dan's family holiday traditions in an effort to incorporate them into the far superior traditions of my family. (kidding.)

Dan and I both agreed that some of our best childhood Christmas memories involve doing a "Sub for Santa". (The good memories even include the year my family did it for 3 old people in a care center. And my sweet old man that I visited and took presents to died. And then one of the creepy nurse aide guys took the nice clothes we gave the little old man and wore them....)  I was ecstatic this year when we found a "Sub for Santa" assignment for two little girls. However my hot pink, sparkley, Barbie, Polly pocket filled dreams were dashed when we were informed there was a mistake: instead, they were two little BOYS! Ugh. At least Dan's nerf gun filled dreams came true. It was fun. And warm and fuzzy. "Sub for Santa" is an important tradition we will carry on.

Lo: "Are there any traditional holiday treats I can make for you? Stuff your family makes?"

Dan: "Nope."

Lo: " Like my family makes caramel corn wreaths. What did your family give to neighbors?"

Dan: "Frozen turkeys."

Lo: "This isn't working."

Nothing says Christmas family traditions to me quite like treats! But working everyday this month has cut into my bake fests. All I've made so far is peppermint frosted brownies. Sadly I don't think i'll get all the way through my two page "Want to Bake For the Holidays" list. It's probably for the best though, certainly my thigh circumference will benefit.

{my family's card this year}
Christmas Cards & Yuletide Letters. Every year my family sends out a picture and a hilarious letter written by my Dad. Its possible that the Yule Letter is only funny to my family, but nevertheless, it is awesome. Dan and I decided to hold out on sending out cards till we have a kid to feature in it. Or at least a dog. So consider this our Christmas Greeting to Friends and Family:
Merry Christmas. Love, Dan & Lo

Ghetto Wal-Mart Tree. Year 5.

{danielle w/ pink tree. Year 1.}
One cold snowy Provo night, as an overenthusiastic (and overweight) BYU Freshman Co-ed, I ventured to Wal-mart, at midnight, with all 6 of my roommates. We were in search of holiday cheer in purchasable form. I found a $30 artificial tree and got it for our apartment (we decked it out in sparkly pink decor, much to the chagrin of one particular roommate). I went cheap, supposing it was a one year venture. Little did I know that the tree would go beyond the horrible semester.... 

{it certainly didn't help that Zaza liked to hang out in it. Year 3.}
 Said tree is in our apartment right now. Going on year 5. And lets just say, its not going strong...

We decided to continue the tradition started last year of each picking one new fancy ornament. We made a whole date night out of it and ventured to several locals in search of THE ornaments. In the end, Dan got a robot. I opted for the Abominable snowman petting rudolph in an homage to my favorite Christmas movies. Beat that.

Next year we shall have a real tree. So be it if I must personally go to Pioneer Park and cut one down out from under a homeless man. It will be real. There will be no Ghetto Tree Year 6, so help me. 

We're getting in the christmas spirit here as we count down the days till our return to Zion. A Peppermint Twist candle, some candied almonds, and Pandora providing holiday tunes make our apartment down right festive. Also, it's a good thing that Santa no longer brings me things (the ultimate sacrifice in getting married), because I'm not sure he'd like this year's wish list. My wants are rather unsleighable:

1) A brown Doberman Pinscher. 

The one I see on Saturday morning runs. I will love him more than his present owner. I promise.

2) Acura MDX. 

Call it a Soccer Mom Car. I call it true love.

3) An Apartment in the Avenues. 

With a washer/dryer, dishwasher, wood floors. And allows my Doberman. And doesn't have noisy/crazy/messy/cross-dressing/trashy neighbors.  I'm really not asking too much here. 

4) Dan to magically become an officer and us to be stationed in Germany, so I can spend my weekends in Paris gorging myself on croissants. 

Yes, that is what I want more than anything. 

Maybe there will be a Christmas Miracle....I'm trying to be REALLY good. Because as my mom always used to say/threaten: "Santa's Elves are watching! And they're taking notes!"

TurkeyLand! Gobble, Gobble, Gobble, TURKEYLAND!*

(* Chorus from traditional Parowan Elementary Thanksgiving Song. My dad sings it. And it is incredible.)

In the hierarchy of Lauren's Favorite Holidays, Thanksgiving ranks pretty much near rock bottom (just below Rosh Hashanah). For a person who doesn't eat turkey, this holiday holds little appeal. However, I whole heartedly embrace any reason to go to St. George. Plus, with all the awesomeness that transpired this Turkey Season, the holiday may have to move up in my ranking system:

I’ve missed out on the awesomeness that is the Jubilee of Trees the past few years. So I was overjoyed to make it just in time for the final day! Our Neighbor Mrs. Doty sponsored several sections of it – had to get a picture with the giant poster of her. There were some cool trees- but the entire Jubilee was a lot smaller than usual. I think the downsizing was indicative of the recession, which appears to have hit my beloved STG quite hard. 

Due to the fact my mom’s kitchen is still being remodeled, we did Thanksgiving with one oven at my Grandma’s house. It all worked out and the food was as always delightful. 

We got to enjoy it with both sets of Grandparents, plus my Uncle Nate and cousin Allie.

kat, biting into the turkey neck, that my mom boils, just incase there's insufficient gravy. yeah.
 I made improvement on pies (though last years was more of a chocolate soup) and rolls (read: unrisen rocks) from last year – but I still have a ways to go before I achieve Thanksgiving Chef Star Status. 

In an effort to combat post-glutton day obesity, the ever thin Anna organized the first ever “BENSON FAMILY TURKEY TROT.” It was a relay composed of .5 mile and 1 mile legs.  

My team won, (almost solely because of my supernaturally fast Dad), and was rewarded with fine trophies courtesy of Anna. Many have already begun training for next year’s endeavor. 

Every time I go home I harbor the hope that this will be the time I will leave without crying. That I will finally be a grown up and able to leave my family without a breakdown. No such luck, as my puffy eyes would indicate. I persevere knowing that I shall return in 3 short weeks for Christmas, thereby giving me another chance at a dry-eyed departure. It could happen. But it probably won't. 

I miss each one of them too much. Even the obese beagle. Especially the obese beagle. 

Primary Lesson Not Learned

My little CTR friends have been outta control lately. There are now 9 consistent comers, 3 of whom I believe should be on Ritalin. I decided to imploy some bribery on Sunday and bring a treat - which was not easy since one kid is forbidden from eating gluten and J-Horse is "Deathly allergic to peanuts. That means if I eat peanuts, I will die!" Bribery worked and order was restored to our class in so much that I could deliver a lesson on forgiveness. I also gained another J-Horse gem, "Sister Mealy, can I make a comment that is off topic?(he really talks like this!) The opposite of forgiveness is revenge. When someone does something mean to us, and we do something mean back , that is called REVENGE! Jesus doesn't want us to get REVENGE!"

Flash forward to Tuesday. I was minding my own business, reading a new cookbook and listening to NPR in the car as I waited for Dan to get done at PT. Next thing I know, someone bangs the side of my car with their fist. I roll down my window and proceed to be yelled at by a Marine for my lack of patriotism. Apparently (I didn't hear over the radio, I honestly have diminished hearing) I missed that they were retiring the flag, and should have gotten out of my car. I don't handle being yelled at well. Not at all. I proceeded to ball my eyes out for the next hour and a half. Then I began to think how I could take action.... I now have decided to return to BYU and join ROTC, become a Marine Corp officer, become this dude's commander, and punish him mercilessly till the end of time. 

What was that you were saying about revenge, J-horse?

If this was half way, not the finish, I would kill Myself

We ran a Marathon. 

Well, technically it was only half of one - but I dare you to tell my quads it was only 13.1. They will not believe you. Despite being voluntary torture,  it was actually quite fun overall. The Big Sur half Marathon (which does not take place in Big Sur) is officially my favorite race thus far in my extensive (not) career: beautiful day, well organized, great course, and nice tech shirts (they even had the pink ones in women's sizes for the girls, that sealed the deal for me!)

One downfall: It was crazy crowded! The first two miles were spent just weaving in and out of the crowds and jockeying for personal space. 7,000 people participated - they had to start us in several waves and caged us in estimated finish time corrals. 

I had two goals for this race: 

1) To not despise running after said race, and want to run again

2) Finish under two hours. 

I caught Dan at Mile 10 and we stuck together the rest of the way, but when I looked down at my watch and realized I was pretty close to not finishing under 2, I decided to sprint as fast as I could the last quarter mile. 

I thought Dan was next to me, but apparently he didn't pick up on the strategy. I ended up beating him by a bit - which the Champion of Artichokes is none too pleased about. But I accomplished both my goals, so its all for the cause. 

We got nifty ceramic medals and a box for food after crossing the finish. The food tent was pretty sweet. I  loaded up with fruit and a bagel and a muffin, and then I went to grab a hard earned and much deserved sugar cookie. And I was denied! "If you got a muffin, you can't have a cookie!" What?!? Had I known that I never would have touched this vile poppy-seeded monstrosity. 

And that was the worst part of the whole event. So help me, I will get a cookie next time!

Before moving here, Monterey was described to me as "Paradise." But if this is Paradise, I would like my townhouse to be in the 7th circle of hell, please; I'd feel more comfortable there. I found myself to be very unhappy for the first while we were here... I felt my hard earned arabic brains melting away as I led a seemingly inane existence. I felt like I was stagnating and being passed by as my peers back at BYU were graduating, getting jobs, and moving on. Then I ran (well, actually walked a fair amount) of an Artichoke filled 5k. It felt good. So I set a goal, a lofty one for someone who could only run a single mile without stopping. I signed up to run the Big Sur Half Marathon. Exercise gave me a purpose, a goal, and  quantifiable progress as I got faster and ran longer.  Doing our long runs together on Saturday mornings  gave Dan and I a rare chance to share a common interest (though I'm thinking of getting into this new Call of Duty Black Ops, NOT). So cheesy as it sounds, I feel like this Half Marathon changed my life. You may now throw up.