First off yes, as a worker at Applebee's you are an "AppleBuddy." Aside from the general dirt and grime of being a waitress, there are other awesome things that set being an applebuddy apart:
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| {Once a year we have crazy t-shirt day. Don't wear the shirt I did. It will be interpreted as "I hump Joe?" No one knows where/what the Country of Jordan is.} 1) Singing the birthday song. At least twice a day. |
"Applebees is fun it's true!
Especially When We Sing for You!
Good news is we sing for free,
Bad news is we sing off key!
Sound off - HAPPY
Sound off- BIRTHDAY
Happy Birthday! To you!"
2) Sidework that takes FOREVER
Ever wanted to be paid $2.25 an hour to roll silverware and wipe down tables? No? Then never become an applebuddy. Cause then you'll have to. For at least an hour after every shift. Even if its 11pm. Especially if it's 11 pm.
3) Your co-workers are all felons
My fellow applebuddies are a bit of a rough crowd. It took me awhile to catch on to their lingo:
PO= parole officer
Color Chart= when you are parole for certain crimes, your "color" may be randomly called into the nearest police department at any time. IE " David is late for work today cause its a blue day. Hope he passes that drug screen."
4) People suck at tipping
People come in w/ certificates the school gives out for good grades. They get free kids meals and nothing else. Their kids demand endless chocolate milk refills. And then they leave no tip. Others actually order and pay for food, but again, when it comes time to tip - NADA. Do they not understand that waitresses only make $2 AN HOUR? Or more likely, they don't care. Awesome.
5) People ask retarded questions
"How fresh is this Salmon? When was it caught?"
A) This is an Applebees's. Everything is frozen. When was it caught? Are you kidding me?!?
B) We live in Utah. Not Maine. Where do you think we would fish?
"I'm allergic to all vegetables. And gluten. And nuts. And I don't eat meat. What do you recommend?"
I recommend you not come to Applebee's. Also, you should die.
Alas, there must some perks to the Applebuddy life, right?
1) 50% off a meal 30 mins before or after your shift
I have yet to cash in on this little perk. As soon as i'm finally checked out, I want the Helena Montana outta there- see the above 5 reasons.
10 comments:
Oh, Lauren. I'm sorry, it's so bad, it makes for an awesome blog post though!:) From my experience, I must tell you that most people have NO idea how much waitresses earn an hour and then there is always "Next guy would tip." I hope it'll get better soon, or even better, hopefully you'll be able to quit that job all together sooner rather than later!:)
I'm so sorry that it sucks. I hear Utah is the worst for tipping. Hopefully you'll find something better soon.
Are you going to be at the reunion?
that's hilarious! (and really sucky). Oh well we've all had terrible jobs right? Did I ever tell you I was a dental assistant for the devil?
Just keep repeating-ajobisajobisajobisajobisajob. Anyway you can cash in on that perk for a To Go meal?
come on, the 50% is TOTALLY worth it. I know that's why you really wanted that job. and besides you get to call yourself an APPLEBUDDY, who wouldn't want that on a resume :) miss you. Pavel's does as well. they want you as a baker, they told me
haha seriously I love you! My life would be so boring if I didn't have your blog to read every week! You can make anything funny/ interesting... Im telling you you need to be a columnist!!!
Well I can say at least some of us had a mother who was a former waitress and has taught her kids to tip very well :) I know that's no consolation for you, but I enjoyed you telling us why you love it
i sure hope another job comes along for you, because working at a server is horrible.
Ooooh nothing pissed me off more than rolling silverware!! Just when you think your shift is over..they bring a bucket full of freshly washed silverware. I can't tell you how many time's I wanted to poke my eyes out with those rolled up utensils!
As an Olive Gardener, I feel your pain. Except I don't roll silverware. And as someone who feels your pain, I feel like I can admit out loud that I laughed uncontrollably while reading this post. SERVING SUCKS. I hope you don't have to suffer this punishment for the next 5 years, like I have done for the past 5 of mine. 10% tithing so 10% tip, right? UH. SCREW YOU PEOPLE.
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