Christmas- Top 10 Recap

It was a very adult christmas. Is it just me, or did my previous statement make it sound like a pornographic event? What I mean to say was that Dan's sister Tori and Tim and their kids were in California, and Dan's youngest sister Jill is on a mission. That left Nana, Dan's parents, Dan and I, and his two brothers Steve and Chris at home. Meaning we leisurely got up 9:30 and their was limited squealing  Well, maybe there was some squealing. 

1) Otto in a globe

Denise isn't a pet person. At all. So we sent Otto down to my parent's house for Christmas where he could play with the other dogs and not bother people who would rather not having an 80lb beast pulling over their Christmas Tree. However, we couldn't help but tease Denise a little. We found this awesome snow globe at Wal-mart, had a photo session with Otto, and created a wonderful stocking stuffer for Denise. Ha. We think we're funny.

2) Ann the Card Shark

If I had to come up with a title for this Christmas, it would be the "Year of Rummy."This is Ann, dan's rad 85 year old Grandmother who travels the globe, attends her "Daughter of the American Revolution" Meetings faithfully, and absolutely dominates at card games. Dan and I played no less than 30 rounds of Rummy with her. She lures you in under the pretense of a fun, friendly game. Then she proceeds to dominate you. Don't let her fool you, Ann is a card shark. But a fun one.

3) Chris' Christmas Engagement

This is Chris, Dan's brother. He got engaged on Christmas Day. Sadly I don't have a picture of him with his finacee, but I can vouch for the fact that she is real. Congrats Chris and Amber!

4) Cafe Rio & Bing

Denise instituted a new tradition (well, i'm voting for it to become a tradition)  this year: Christmas Eve Cafe Rio take-out and watching Bing Crosby's White Christmas. This is truly the pinnacle of perfection.

5) Got Good Presents

It was like christmas gift nirvana - a perfect blend of stuff i knew I really wanted/needed and some good surprises. I was pleased as punch. 

6) Gave Good Presents

Even better than getting presents is giving them. I felt like we did pretty good at giving this year. We gave Rick the complete Back to the Future Blu-Ray DVD set and he loved it. I think, Or he's just really good at pretending. Either way, we'll take it!

7) Basked in the Glory of Steve's Cat Sweater

Because really, it is quite glorious. 

8) Santa hooked Dan up

Santa stuffed Dan's stocking with what may or may not be the last box of .223 in Davis County. 

A certain elf looked all over the place

9) Ate A lot, and then some more. 
So much delicious food. Including multiple batches of Peppermint Fudge Brownies.

10) Had a Merry Christmas
My dad texted me this picture on Christmas Eve and it made me so happy. We had a wonderful Christmas with Dan's family, then had a white knuckled drive through a storm down to STG for New Years.
To Be continued... 

"Lauren, Brigham Young once said..."

As I as headed out the door from Thanksgiving at my parent's house my Grandpa stopped me and imparted this gem: 

"Lauren, Brigham Young said there would come a day when young married people would choose to have cats and dogs over babies. I'm just saying."* 

* A google search yielded no such quote attributable to Brother Brigham

** I have no idea what he was implying

*** Otto actually nipped at Santa as well as refused to sit on his lap #gettingnothingbutcoalforsure

Run, for the Octopus! (Thanksgiving Recap)

It was an epic and wonderful Thanksgiving in St. George with my family. 

And it began with an Octopus...

We kicked off Turkey day with the annual (annual in that it has happened once before) BENSON TURKEY TROT! Katheryn and I went to Party Land the night before with hopes of purchasing a balloon crown for the Trot Champion, cool idea right? Well, the employee that knows how to make the crowns wasn't in that night, so of course we did the most logical thing possible and bought a random balloon octopus that was sitting on the counter... Who wouldn't be motivated to win by this guy?

The trot was especially awesome because Branda, Kade, and their little guy Paxon participated. Don't mind that my friend has two kids, is four months pregnant, and still runs faster than I do.

She's rad. There was fierce competition for first place: Anna came in first, Katheryn second, and Dad third. Kiersten and my Mom dominated the walking division, while the rest of his jogged in at a good clip. Nothing like a brisk 3 miles to counterbalance the 5,000 calorie feast I was about to consume... or to at least mitigate a singular roll.

What are these fine looking place cards you may ask? Why these are little mayflower ships I spent hours crafting. Another Pinterest deceit: it looked quick, easy, and cute. It turned out tedious, finger burning (hot glue involved), and not at all resembling a sea worthy pilgrim filled vessel. Oh well.

No food pictures, but I assure you a truly wondrous feast was had thanks to my Mom. It was especially cool because this is one of the few times we've had a holiday with my mom's side of the family - added bonus: my favorite Hales cousin, Mackenzie, and her boyfriend Jackson came all the way from Minnesota.

The Mackenzie/Jackson duo won the gingerbread house making competition that followed dinner - though great efforts were put in by all.

Speaking of Jackson and Mackenzie, they are hard core rock climbers. We decided to take advantage of the awesome weather and go out for a climb (and by climb I mean I sat on level ground and read The Economist - I'm a scaredy cat.) After a jaunt to Chuckawalla we went out to a site in Snow Canyon that was supposed to be a pretty easy climb. 

It may have been - but we will never know. The "trail" up to the climb was some seriously intense hiking/bouldering. Certain members of our group were sure this was a death march (granted it was seriously steep, Mackenzie's border collie was shaking like crazy and had to be hoisted several times), and so we decided to abandon the plan and head home before it got dark. Still fun though.

In a nutshell, Thanksgiving was grand. Moving on to Christmas...

Kicking off the Christmas Season was the annual and much dreaded Army Christmas Party, better known as mandatory fun. You know its gonna be a rockin' party when you have to sign in and promise not to leave till the end. This year was especially interesting as we dressed up, were served a mediocre dinner, and then forced to watch nearly 3 hours of a borderline offensive marital advice movie: "Laugh your Way to a Better Marriage". It was sad because I think this time really could have been used constructively to improve military marriages, but instead it was squandered on a video that was uncomfortable, had a born again evangelical bent, and perpetuated gender stereotypes while offering no really constructive advice or information. And no, I don't have strong feelings about it. The only bright spot was that Dan just changed units and we are now reunited with the Streeters! Meaning Leana and I could chit chat and bemoan the activity together. 

Luckily this weekend we had a better Christmas Activity: a lovely concert. My accountant co-worker (who is a 38 year old unmarried LDS man who loves show-tunes, Twilight, and is willing to fly across the country to go to a Madonna concert - you do the math), was involved in a local Christmas concert. I really like him and wanted to support so I got tickets - not really expecting to enjoy it all that much. But it turned out to be quite good. They had two guest artists, Jenny Oaks Baker an amazing violinist, and a Celtic singing soloist, conducted by Craig Jessop (Music and the Spoken Word). They had a good mix of fun songs and the more serious, like my all time fave, "Oh come, Oh come, Emmanuel."

Finally, in Christmas related news - I finally got a real tree! It smells delightful - and I guess tastes delightful too as Otto likes to chew on the low boughs (which I'm not too mad about as it results in Doggie Christmas Tree breath which is preferable to Doggie Horse Poop breath.) Anna came over last Sunday and helped us deck it out in full tinsel. I'm most pleased with the outcome. 

And now the Christmas Countdown is in full swing. 

(Helpfully tracked by the countdown blocks I made last year.)

16 Days. Its on. 

Santa Baby,

If Santa came to me and was like, "Lauren, you've seriously been such a good girl this year. Money is no object, what can I bring you this year?" I'd be like, "Santa, I really want to get into road biking. I've overcome my coordination issues and can successfully bike down a road (in large part thanks to my friend Bonni). My friend Sue is getting a bunch of girls together to do a Wicked Witch Bike Relay next year. I want in. I need a light weight road bike, a bike computer - because you know I'm obssesive about tracking my pace and mileage, some nice padded pearl izumi shorts, and a helmet - saftey first Santa."

"The bike is priority number one, but if you still have room in your bag I could use some fancy clothes for work. Any pencil skirt and tailored shirt combo from j.crew is acceptable. Some nice flats so I don't fall down the stairs to Champ Hall (again) would be great. And some sparkly baubles."

"And while you're taking requests, Otto would like to this awesome Dyson Animal vacuum. Our cheap old Eureka is having trouble keeping up with all of his fur. Additionally, he would like the ability to vacuum the whole house by himself."

"Both Otto and I would like this Molly Mutt dog bed. It is made of an easily washable duvet cover that you stuff full of old clothes/blankets/pillows - totally eco friendly! And they're cute!" That's it.

Thanks Santa.

#Hashtags

#Halloween

My favorite holiday has come and gone and sadly I didn't get fully invested this year. With the whole working thing it was difficult to commit much time to costume sewing. Coupled with some last minute stresses our Halloween weekend was a mess. I didn't get our costumes done so we ended up throwing together last minute costumes from things around the house... Dan was an army guy and I was Katniss from Hunger Games. We made it to the annual and awesome Monson Halloween party, but I didn't get any pictures, partially because our little devil was out in the car the whole time and stressing me out. Nevertheless, homemade chili was eaten, caramel corn was made, friends were visited and Otto was forced to wear an embarrassing outfit. Win, win, win.

{iconic Old Main picture}

#Jobs

The biggest thing going on for me lately is work. After two months of searching and finding nothing, I landed a job working in the afternoons for the Honors Office at Utah State. The day I started I got offered another part time job, this one a temporary gig in the Provosts Office, also at USU. So now I'm  a working girl 8-5, monday through friday, totally legit.
PROS:
- Its a paying job. Not easy to come by in this economy, especially in a very small rural town...
- I work in the iconic Old Main building, where it just so happens Dan has every single one of his classes. Sure makes car pooling easier.
- It  has benefits, like actual health insurance benefits, not the free diet coke benefits of previous Applebee's days.
- I have to dress in business attire, which I've discovered I love. If only my paychecks were large enough to indulge in a complete j.crew professional wardrobe...
CONS:
- I'm pretty sure Otto could do my job, if only his paws were adept for typing. I think 90% of my job is mindless typing in excel. Maybe even 95%.
 - I'm basically the lowest person on the totem pole in both offices... That means if coffee needs making, plants need watering, envelopes need licking... Guess who gets to do it?
- My job in the Provosts office is temporary while their regular employee is on a three month leave. So in January my hours/pay drop in half.
- Speaking of pay, I literally make 1/2 of what I did in Monterey. A little discouraging being that I now have a college degree and should be working a "real job".
- I actually have to go to work all day. I had gotten accustom to sleeping in and watching 8 episodes of Friday Night Lights a day in my pajamas. Kidding. Kind of.

#Doggydaycare

With becoming a full time working woman came the difficult decision to put Otto in doggy day care. Okay, before you decide I'm totally crazy hear me out. We used to just lock Otto in the tiled area of our house with a baby gate while we were out. However one day he decide to chew a hole in our wall, thus necessitating crate training. Usually he's only in the crate in the mornings because Dan is done with class and comes home to study at noon, but on Tuesdays Dan and I are both gone all day. We felt mean about leaving him in a cage all day, and the day care is close to our house, and its a good opportunity for him to get socialized with other dogs, and its really not very expensive, and he comes home so happy and tired from playing, and well...Does it seem reasonable yet? Posted above is his report card from his first day at daycare. We're so glad he is an "active camper" and "had fun playing with his new buddy Sherlock" and liked day care "3 tail wags, a bark, and a jump."Totally normal.

{random picture of me in Jordan - Wadi Rum}
#baddaytobeaconservative

Switching gears to a more serious subject, another big thing lately has been the presidential election. I have never cared this much about American politics before. Leading up to Tuesday night Dan and I listened to NPR every morning and read each other articles we found interesting on Obama or Romney, we talked about politics a lot! Election night was very upsetting - I won't get into it all. I was downright angry the next day but the more I thought about it, the more I mellowed out. Sure I'm not happy with the outcome, but at least I got to vote in free and fair elections (though there could be some argument on if the electoral college is truly free and fair). I thought about my time in Jordan and how even joking with friends about the King was very serious. People would quickly hush you if you said anything even remotely negative about the King or his government. No one dreamed about voting or having a say in anything at all. Though our system in America isn't perfect, its sure a lot better than most of the rest of the world. I'm still proud to be an American, even if I'm not proud of some of the things our President does.

{one of the interesting books I read in preparation}

#rejection

I debated whether or not to throw this on, because it still stings every time I think about it... But its a big thing in my life so it should go in my record. Yeah, I officially got rejected by Teach for America. Going in I knew it was a long shot (supposedly you have a statistically better chance of getting accepted by Stanford Law School than by TFA), but I decided to go for it - chase my dreams and all that jazz. I put in my application and essays and was surprised when I was invited for a phone interview. I was sure I was out after that, my phone interview was a complete train wreck with a snarky guy from Chicago who seemed to be contemptuous about every word I said. I was so excited (literally jumping up and down) when I found out that I had made it through another round and was invited for the full day final interview. I was really blown away! For the final interview I had prepare a sample lesson, participate in a group activity with 11 other TFA applicants, and then have a one hour one-on-one interview with a TFA staff member. In the weeks leading up to the final interview I allowed myself to really envision getting in, and I've never been more excited. I read books about education and poverty, spent days agonizing over my sample lesson, read up on all the TFA locations... Really anytime I wasn't working I was doing something to prep for TFA. I wanted it. so. so. bad. I honestly don't think I've wanted something/prayed for something/ got so excited for something more than this in my life. And I thought I had it. I got tons of compliments from the other applicants on my sample lesson, I felt I did well on the group activity (with some insider tips from my cousin's boyfriend who is currently in TFA), and thought I nailed my one-on-one interview. And then I got the rejected. I can honestly say I was/am devastated. I've struggled my whole post high school career to find my niche. And I still don't feel like I've found it. I really thought teaching, particularly doing Teach For America was my calling. Now I feel like I'm back at square one. And square one is a really lonely and depressing place to be.

Reverse PR: A How To

So, you’ve run at least one previous marathon and want to know “How can I run a marathon again and get a reverse PR (that is, run actually slower than your current best time)?” 

Well, lucky for you I was able to accomplish this highly laudable feat this weekend and I’m ready to share my cornucopia of knowledge so that you can do it to. Ready? Here we go!

TRAINING : The “experts” will tell you that you need to religiously follow a training plan. Do not believe them/ be too lazy to believe them. Forget about those pesky prescribed “long runs” of 16, 18, 20 or even the laughable 22 miler! Instead simply run your monthly half marathon you’ve signed up for, go to some spin classes, and delude yourself into believing that you can just wing it. (Spoiler alert: You can't.)

"Hello, I'm Otto. I'm here to make sure you never get a quiet nights rest."

REST: Getting proper rest is in an important facet of proper marathoning. So in order to reverse PR I recommend the following: get not one, but two new jobs the week of the marathon. This makes it effectively impossible for you to get off work early and make the long drive to your race destination at a reasonable hour. If I were you, I'd leave work at 5, get stuck behind multiple car accidents at Brigham City, and then hit massive traffic in SLC commuting down to the USU/BYU football game. 

While sitting in stand still traffic for two hours have your chocolate lab puppy have a diarrhea accident in the back of your car – this will really take your traffic stress level down and put you at ease. Or cause you to burst into uncontrollable tears. That's just a suggestion, but it worked for me!
Four and half hours later (when it should be a two hour drive), arrive in Orem at your sister’s house.

NUTRITION: At this point you are so frustrated, and its 9:30 at night, so that sitdown pasta dinner is out of the question. Instead get a Happy Meal at the gas station. Eat your four chicken nuggets and curse the fact that this “healthy food initiative” (that you blame on Michelle Obama)  has made it so McDonalds has given you a total of four fries and stuck in a bag of disgusting apple slices. Curse again.

LAY OUT YOUR GEAR: Get to your parents house at midnight. Begin to lay out your gear and realize you’ve left a lot of stuff a home: your hat, your iphone arm band, your toothbrush….Be even angrier. Try to go to sleep for four hours. Its futile.

RACE DAY:  Wake up. Feel like trash already. Drink a diet coke and head to the bus. Its freezing. Try to cuddle with your sister. Realize she has 0% body fat and is actually making you colder. Huddle by the bonfire - this is great because now you can smell like sweat and smoke for the next four hours. Start race. Hate life at mile one. Because you don’t have your arm band, decide to stick your iphone in your sports bra. Around mile 18 its gets too sweaty and shorts out. You have no music for the next 8 miles. Cry. Pull off to an aid station. Ask how long it will be till a rescue van comes. Cry. See your mortal enemy. Decide your mortal enemy can’t beat you. MUST PULL SELF TOGETHER.

(someone else took this picture, I was to busy praying for a swift end to take pictures. Snow Canyon is cool) 

(i look like death you say? I feel like death! .5 miles from the finish)

With renewed sense of purpose, start running again, music-less and angry. Begin repeating mantra to self, “Can’t let enemy beat me. Can’t let enemy beat me.” The last 6 miles fly by this way.

At long last you will make it to the finish. You will want to die. Find the diet coke stand. Get one. Feel restored to full health. Find dad volunteering in Life Flight tent. Let him tell you how awesome you are. Feel good. See other marathoners eating pulled pork sandwiches from the Texas Road House stand. Throw up in your mouth. Exit runner’s area. See sister Anna, she has finished 20 minutes before you. She is your hero. Find your mother and sister Kiersten, they are your saviors, they have brought you flip flops and hugs. Hobble to your friend Brandalee’s house, she is rad and has a cute little gift for you. Feel guilty accepting it as you just had a really embarrassing finish time. Hobble to your car. Go home.

RECOVERY:Your mom will make you an ice bath. The one minute in there is worse than the entire marathon. But it works, so do it. Then get in your mom’s Jacuzzi bath tub, fully clothed, with your sister. Add bubbles. Cry, because you're so glad is over, but it hurts so bad. And the worse part is, "YOU DO IT TO YOURSELF, YOU DO, AND THAT’S WHAT REALLY HURTS (cue radiohead song)". Spend the next day eating really caloric food, because you deserve it, hobbling around, and laying on the couch petting your cat.

Congratulations! You have now successfully reverse PR’ed!!!