Just a Warning

If you choose to read only the ingredient list and neglect to read the entire recipe, your microwave could end up like this:

Over the weekend, Danielle and Haylee came over to my house for "CRAFT DAY." Well, I was a bit rushed that morning and just a bit before they were due to arrive I realized I didn't have any treats made. NO TREATS?!? What kind of gathering has NO TREATS?!? So, I looked around my kitchen and accessed the situation. I pretty much had no ingredients. Then it came to me, CARAMEL CORN. Found a quick and easy microwave version and set about making it. Then I discovered I had no brown sugar. No problem, run (literally, dan had the car) down to the corner market/drug front. I headed outside to discover it was rain/snowing. Plan B. Make brown sugar from white sugar and molasses. Totally worked. Throw everything into microwave for a couple minutes. Open microwave. Caramel volcano has exploded. DO NOT put the baking soda into the mix till after its microwaved. It will create a science fair project like explosion. Just FYI. Needless to say, it was a treatless event. 

Luckily, my co-crafters have more attention to detail then myself, and due to their diligence and instruction following, I think our Christmas countdown blocks turned out pretty well. 

In other news, Dan is gone back east for a week for Army training stuff. 

Meaning Lauren is home alone.

Meaning: 

A) She is sleeping with all the lights in the house on.

B) She is eating Breakfast for Supper. Every. Single. Night. Soooo gooood 

(I still don't understand dan's aversion)

C) She is using the countdown blocks to number the days till Friday, 

when she goes home to St. George (only 2 left!!!).

See Steve. Be inspired by STEVE.

I had an interesting shuttle ride down this past weekend. A young man that was being transferred from a drug treatment facility up north to one in St. George ended up riding by me. I was surprised when he asked me about a book I was reading, a rather unknown Egyptian novel, and that he knew a lot about it. He was very articulate and we talked about the book book he was reading, Rough Stone Rolling (one of my all time favorites), and had some very interesting theological discussions. Kinda crazy. Then my mom picks me up and sends me into K-Mart where I’m promptly asked by a woman lying on the ground on aisle 14 to help her up. She was looking at a price on the bottom shelf and now cant get back up. I looked around for someone to help me, but as is common for K-mart, it looked like the rapture had taken place and were the lone people left behind. I pretty much threw out my back hoisting this older, heavier woman up. But I got her up and she was able to continue her K-mart shopping. Weird day. It seems like when one weird thing happens, it dominoes into a day of bizzareness… ANYWAY

Snow Canyon Half Marathon: BRRRRRRR. That’s about all I can say. You should NOT wear short shorts to a race that begins in snow. It will in fact make you slower, not faster. Running tights are they way to go, sure they’re not really flattering on anyone (except those rare exceptions * cough * anna *cough* *cough*)… So yeah, between turning into a Popsicle and vomiting up diet coke and a granola bar (the breakfast of Olympians), not a good first few miles. 

When I got down to the last mile and saw someone on the sidelines wearing camo pants, I was like “Hey, someone has camo pants like my dad! What are the odds? (I thought my Dad was at work).” When I got closer I saw it was my Dad! I tried to run as fast as humanly possible for someone of my abilities in order to impress him and make up for my years of athletic failure in front of him (soccer, cross country, three legged races). Ha. The whole family came out and cheered us on. It was quite nice. 

After the race Anna and I went back to mile 8 where she had ditched her fleece jacket. There was this lady hobbling along wearing a bib number, looking like she was going to cry (She was at mile 8 and well over two hours, and its freezing and windy!). Anna offered to drive her to the finish line, and she gladly accepted. I need to start having people drive me to the finish line; I think it would improve my times and make racing more fun. Just an idea.

There are two criteria in the book of Lauren as to what makes a good race: 

Criterion One: Cool Shirts (You know, so you can wear it around the gym and then people are like “Hey did you run that race?” And then you’re like “Hey, yeah, I totally did!”).

 Criterion Two: Good Post Race Treats (Because really the only thing that motivates me to exercise is FOOD. I wish I was joking. I spent all 13 miles thinking of cookies).

Snow Canyon 1/2= Hideous Shirts and Frozen Yogurt at the finish of 40 degree run? Double Fail. But Anna and I both beat our previous ½ Marathon Times, so its cool.

All race pictures are courtesy of Kiersty. She, Eli, and her hedgehog came down. They are always fun to play with and Eli adds nearly a foot to the median height in our household when present.

After the race, Anna and I accompanied my Mom to SUPER SATURDAY where we learned the invaluable skills associated with creating cake pops. We decided we needed to try our hand at this first world ridiculosity. So we did.

I know I’ve mentioned Steve before. He is a spin teacher in St. George with a cult following. And I am part of the cult. It is particularly hilarious because he magically appears at every race that Anna and I joke about him at. We laughed that he probably ran the STG Marathon and then ran back to help others. Low and behold, the newspaper Marathon special comes out. Front page picture: Sexy Spin Man Steve helping an injured runner across the finish line, while still managing to finish in 3:08. Today I’m looking through the Snow Canyon ½ Marathon official pictures, there is Steve. In the very front of the start line. I have no doubt he completed some meritorious act here as well and will use it to inspire his next spin class. 
He is not a mere mortal.

 HE IS STEVE.

scary things

My main activity this week was hunting down my bishop. The great and abominable institution known as THE BYU didn’t accept my ecclesiastical endorsement, apparently I had the wrong form. I couldn’t register for classes or apply for graduation, which I urgently needed to do. I already had the interviews with both my bishop and stake president (not easily accomplished); I just needed a signature on the right form. I can’t even tell you how tempted I was to forge it. Our bishop is like an elusive white wolf. I called his home, his cell, left multiple messages. Emailed him. Called the 1^st counselor. Called the 2^nd counselor. Called the executive secretary. Dan left threatening messages. I’m not joking. Living in a ghetto downtown branch is no joke! On Sunday we showed up to Stake Conference, Dan monitoring one door, me monitoring the other. Somehow, he got past us. Luckily I spotted him in the pews after the service had started. I sat directly behind him and didn’t take my eyes off his bald head. Finally, after a lovely two hour wait, the meeting ended and I forced a pen into his hand. He offered no reason whatsoever for ignoring me. Whatever. I have my signature. 

Carving pumpkins is a Mealy-Streeter tradition that had to be carried on. Mark and Leana had us up to their place and though Dan refused to get his hands covered in guts (what kinda boy is he?), we still produced a team skeleton pumpkin.

{halloween 2008. don't judge.}
Having no Halloween functions to attend (our ghetto ward doesn’t trunk or treat), we planned to lay low and watch some Netflix. Then I got a text from Danielle that they were having a little get together at Haylee's house. So Dan and I threw together a last minute costume, quite reminiscent of our first married Halloween, and headed down to Provo.

 We were muertos, you know, the day of the dead skeletons that Dan and I have quiet an affinity for? Next year its back to the hard-core sewing  themed costumes. 

(Bonni, you’re going to be in SLC and throw a party right?)

Despite it being Halloween and all, the scariest thing to happen this week was SNOW. Me and my frostbitten hands aren't ready for this. Luckily, I get to go home this weekend and warm myself.

{best thing to happen to my life. i wish it came with a cat}
Until then, if you need to find me, I will be curled in a ball in front of my heat lamp. 

Witches, Running, Babies, Indian Food, and Quitting

WITCHES' NIGHT OUT AT GARDNER VILLAGE
Danielle, Haylee and I decided to venture out to the WNO - which none of us really knew anything about. We started out at Chipotle, a first time experience for us all. Good. But not Cafe Rio good. But then, what is? I was hesitant to even throw on a witches hat, I didn't want to show up to this thing like an overdressed fool. Well, if anything we were severely UNDERdressed (except for maybe Danielle, she took it seriously). People had face paint, costumes, accessories GALORE. The highlight of the whole thing was just people or I guess "witch watching". It was way too crowded and overstimulating with the EFY-esque music to do any shopping. But we had fun and got some good christmas craft ideas.

MOM AND ANNA VISIT
My Mom and Anna came up to SLC for the Cross Country State Finals. Anna ran like a champ, as always. They also looked at colleges, and most importantly, played with me. We ate delicious Pie Pizzeria, walked to 7-11 so I could get my favorite drink (super big gulp, 90% diet coke and 10% sugar free limeade, don't hate) and cuddled. It was a fun trip. I want them to move in with us, it would be a never ending party. Dan, thats cool with you, right?

RETURN OF THE BABIES!
We have missed our niece and nephew so much! Its crazy how much they grow up in just a few months. We were so glad Tori and her little munchkins could  leave warm San Diego behind and come and visit. Grandma hooked Molly up with that Snow White Dress and she loved it. This reaffirmed my desire to have a little girl and dress her as a princess. Every day. Dan is fully onboard.

I ATE INDIAN FOOD!
I've eaten a fair amount of crazy food in my life. But never Indian Food. There's this place called the Bombay House that I've been wanting to go to since I first moved up north. Six years ago. Dan finally made my dreams come true. And for once, my dreams were all I dreamt they would be. It was sooo good. All the waiters wearing turbans inspired Dan and I to go home and research Sikhism, being that neither of us had any idea what Sikhism actually is. Delicious AND educational!

DAN QUIT HIS JOB
This job has just not been working out. First they had him working every single sunday, ten hours. When he told them he needed some Sundays off to go to church, they put him on eight hour shifts during the school week. Which then interfered with his schooling - which is finally our #1 priority (no more army till school is done!!!) So, basically, this job had to go. And its gone. Huzzah!
(except for the whole neither of us making money thing, not huzzah to that.)

Revival of the Happy List

Its been a long time since I made a happy list. And I need one after the unhappy events of last week:

{MIDTERMS}

 With two crazy exams and two massive papers, I could be found in a dark corner of the Wilk, grinding up Excedrin to stir into my BYU Vending Caffiene Free Diet Coke. Desperate times call for desperate measures. 

(why BYU? WHY?!?!?)

 {Preview of Winter}

It went from being 80 degrees to being 40 degrees in one day. I am so cold. And the sky is grey. And it makes me want to pull the covers over my head and never emerge.

(saw these babies at the SLC running company. i know if i had them, i'd be motivated to run again.)

{Post Marathon Blues}

Looking forward to the marathon (mostly just to a reason to go home to STG) gave me encouragment to make it through the first month of school. Now its over, I have nothing to look forward to. Though I neglected my long runs and didn’t follow a training plan, having the marathon looming in the future gave me motivation to workout. I now have no motivation. I also feel sad that my first marathon is over, I’ll never have another first. Ridiculous? Perhaps. But I’m still down over it.

And now, to remedy above sadness, HAPPY THINGS!

 Dan and I have become obsessed with watching Mad Men. In order to continue to live productive lives, we limit ourselves to one episode per day. I look forward to my “stories” as Dan calls them (reference to African American women’s obsession with soap operas, he heard it all the time on his mission, “I care about Jesus, but I gotta go watch my stories!”) I attribute my rash decision to have my hair colored red to this obsession.

 Though its hard to tell from this super high quality photobooth picture taken in my home away from home, the basement of the JFSB, my hair is in fact RED. It brings me happiness to mix things up. Its been over two years since I’ve had my hair colored, and red is the last hue I hadn’t tried, so I went for it.

 In an attempt to get in the Halloween Spirit, I decided to try and start up the old tradition of “Boo-ing.” I made some pumpkin snickerdoodles and my favorite frosted brownies, and printed off some cutesy signs. I recruited Dan to get his speed work in for the day by dashing to peoples porches, dropping the goods, and jumping into a moving getaway car. We boo-ed a few people from the ward, though I’m sure they won’t suspect the inactive couple that even the Bishop ignores…. (Rant for another time.)

 Last, but not least, Dan’s parents came down to SLC and took us out to dinner.  Not just any dinner, my favorite, MEXICAN FOOD. Carb +cheese = delicious. Dan ordered the macho burrito. If you eat the whole thing you get a free dessert. I really wanted dessert. Since this is a happy post, I won’t dwell on the outcome. (Lets just say I didn’t end up with any tres leches….)

Dessert or no dessert, I still have lots of things to be happy about. 

(which is not to say that I still don't want to score a free dessert. next time, macho burrito. next time. )

Toenails in Exchange for a Medal

For reason still unclear in my mind, several months ago I registered with Anna for the STG marathon. I started following a training program, ran a 1/2 marathon, and then I just kinda stopped... I got busy with school, and running 18 miles on a saturday just really didn't sound appealing. So I didn't do it.

 Not really the best idea if you're going to run 26.2. 

I decided to compensate for my lack of training by utilizing the "shorter the shorts, the faster you run" theory. My shorts were very short. But the girls at lululemon assured me they looked great. And if the girls at lululemon started a cult, I would join. No questions asked.

The marathon itself was quite the experience, it definitely exposed the depravity of man. At the start line, anna and I went to go get a cup of water at an aid table. I noticed jars of vaseline on the table when a man came up, got some and proceeded to go to town lubricating his "swimsuit area." I mean really, you can't walk a few feet away, turn your back to people, show some semblance of modesty? Not to mention the innumerable men using the side of the road as a bathroom.... Boys are gross.

{glitter headbands give you magical powers}
I'm not gonna lie, several miles were pretty much the worst experience of my life. Mile 16 for some reason had me questioning whether life was even worth living. Rather than getting in a rescue van, I thought about throwing myself in front of it. But I didn't. I ate another delicious GU and carried on.

The last 10k I kinda fell apart. The 4 hour pacer passed me, and I was not happy. I tried to catch back up, I really wanted a sub 4, but eventually decided to forget that and just focus on not dying. A worthy cause. 

Overall, I'm glad I did it. Anna  ran in 3:47, more than an hour faster than last year, and got 3rd in her division. I want to be her. 

Our family is awesome. They made jazzy posters, got us balloons, and cheered us on! 

Brandalee brought over a giant bag of peanut butter m&ms and a cafe rio gift card the night before. My fastest miles I can attribute to the motivation of being one step closer to a pork tostada and my mom's forehead kisses...

{proper recovery = (2) big gulps of diet coke + a really painful icebath}

I generally try to avoid shameless bragging, but I am proud of myself. My 4:08 time isn't quite what I had hoped for, but I pushed hard and didn't give up.
 Plus, there is always next year. Maybe.....

The Awkward and Awesome of the Last Three Weeks

{AWKWARD}
I had lunch with Kara and Danielle on the 1st day of school, which was awesome. What was not so awesome is that I drank four full glasses of diet coke (I think I was dehydrated from a long run?). Whatever the cause, I drank way too much. And then realized I needed to run to catch my bus. Not just any bus, but a trax connector bus. Up to this point I had only taken express busses, which take approx. 50 minutes to get from BYU to Sandy. Well the Trax Connector bus takes a little longer.... like TWO HOURS. It stops everywhere. I'm pretty sure we were in Denver at one point. I had to pee so bad. So, so bad. Finally we make it to the Trax station, I look around furiously for a bathroom. There wasn't even an adequately large bush to squat behind. I decided to board a train. I felt beads of sweat rolling down my face. Tears started streaming down my cheeks. The train got especially bumpy, and after three hours, I could take it no more. I peed my pants. Yes, I am 23 years old. And yes, I just shared that with the world.

I have had a preferred study carrol on the second floor of the library since freshman year. I like to go and hide there for hours at a time. The only problem is that I get hungry. So, while trying to write a stupid humanities paper, I pulled a banana out of my backpack and began to quietly eat it. All of the sudden I'm interrupted by a library security officer, "Excuse me Ma'm, but you cannot eat in the library." Is he serious? Its not like I'm eating chocolate cake and rubbing it all over a special collections books. I'm silently eating a freaking banana. "I'm going to need you to put your food away." Umm... It's a half eaten banana, I'm not going to put it back in backpack to get all over my books. Awkward minute passes. I finally concede and place the offending banana in my bag. "Thank You." He walks away. I immediately take banana out, finish eating it, and then wipe my fingers on the library wall. Take that evil library security/Getstapo!

Both awkward and awesome: So I'm taking my last (illhamdu lillah! praise be to God) religion class up at the Salt Lake Center. We go around doing the classic introduce yourself routine. I share that my name is Lauren, I like baking and coveting dogs, and I'm majoring in the most useless major that you can major in. Then the guy next me stands up. "My name is Brian, I've be married for 8 years and one year ago my wife and I were blessed to be able to adopt a family of eight children. We now have 7 boys and one girl, ages 3-17, and we couldn't be happier. Six months ago we were able to sealed together for time and all eternity. We were living in a two bedroom apartment when this miracle occurred, and I can truly say that when the Lord says he will provide he does." He then holds up his laptop to show his screensaver, which is a picture of his family, all dressed in red shirts and denim pants. Yeah, half the class is tearing up. Awesome = he adopted 8 kids who I'm sure otherwise would have been split up and sent to crappy foster homes. Awkward = Hello, I like baking and dogs? And then the guy next to me shares that? How shallow and ridiculous do I look? And adopting 8 kids, while a noble gesture, is just a wee bit totally nutzo in my book.


{AWESOME}

In an attempt fulfill at least one more of my summer goals, I forced Dan to have a bbq with me. With our deck lights strung up. And glass bottled coke. Always glass bottled coke.

Dan is taking a digital photography class (its a GE, the U of U is cool like that). The streeters came down to help out and we had an entertaining night of running around with glow sticks, creating long exposures. Dan is one black turtle neck away from being a full fledged artist.

{the only picture I took at the ball, the lovely streeters}
Friday night we went to the Army Ball. It was fun getting dressed up and seeing so many friends from Monterey. It almost felt like were back in our happy place: The friendly Monterey 2nd Ward.
But Army functions always drag on forever. And have bad food. Always.

{lots of random musicians at the market. and hipsters. lots and lots of hipsters.}
Kat and her gentlemen friend Eli came for a visit! It was so fun playing with them. We went to the SLC Farmer's Market on Saturday, something I've always wanted to do and never have. They are a cute couple and I hope they come again. Soon.

Why is it that my awkward things are roughly 10x longer than my awesome things?
Probably because I'm 10x more awkward than awesome.
oh well.