A Doggie Death Wish

On the first weekend Dan was gone my parents came up North for a funeral. Anna, her friend Maggie, and I went down to spend the night in SLC and hang out with them.

We had a lovely time eating (macaroni grill, ruth's diner, and a chocolates shop run by midgets!), shopping (my beloved whole foods and lululemon), getting in the hot tub at the hotel (I haven't been that warm in years) and trinketing (my mom even bought us a trinket of our choosing!). When I returned to Logan I went straight to pick up Otto from the Cache Valley Pet Hotel where he had spent the night. They informed me he had thrown up in his crate. I wasn't too worried as before we left he had gotten into one of my bags I was cleaning out.  From the bag he eaten three Larabars and two things of chapstick - enough to make anyone a bit ill. 

But then he threw up again at home. I was debating taking him to the vet, but he stopped vomiting and acted fairly okay Saturday night. Sunday he started acting really funny. But I knew something was seriously wrong Monday night when I offered him some freshly cooked chicken, which he would normally sell his soul for, and he didn't even want a bite. I really didn't want to take him down to Ogden to a 24 hour clinic, so I deemed it divine intervention when I found a vet nearby who was open late and said they could see him right then. 

First they did a fecal swab to see if he had a virus. Negative. 

Next they took an xray to see if he had a bowel obstruction (which I was pretty sure this is what it was, Labs are notorious for eating inedible objects. In fact, I was especially paranoid about this because one of Otto's siblings recently died from a bowel obstruction), but low and behold, that was negative. 

Next they did a blood test, and there it was: he was in almost complete kidney failure. The most likely cause: ingestion of an NSAID. The most probable scenario is that there were also ibuprofen in the bag that he stole the bars and chap stick from. Normal human doses of any pain reliever are enough to kill a dog. The vet offered a rather grim prognosis and laid out a course of treatment that MIGHT save him.  I started bawling. Of course I consented to the treatment and Otto was taken back, put on an IV and given a bunch of medications. He ended up staying in "intensive care" for four days. 

I went and visited him once and they unhooked him and let me take him on a 5 min walk. It was too hard though, we both cried when I had to bring him back to his little cage. On Thursday night, at long last, they released him. The whole ordeal was throughly traumatic for everyone involved: Otto, Me, and my bank account. He seems to be doing better, though his kidney levels are still really high, and I get to give him medications a million times a day. 

Now that were mostly past it, I've thought about what drove Otto to swallow all those pills in the first place.  Initially I thought it was merely accidental, he swallowed them while eating everything in the bag without discretion. But his behavior since his release has left me wondering...During his first night home he managed to try to chew open a bottle of Drano from under the sink, and began to eat a chocolate cupcake my Relief Society Presidency left uncovered on my porch (side note, who does that?). Perhaps his downturned eyes are not merely a genetic trait, but reveal a deep, suicidal sadness. Perhaps it was posturing; he didn't really want to kill himself, he just needed to get my full attention? Maybe like the teenage girl who swallows too many sleeping pills and calls up the boyfriend who dumped her in a desperate plea for love, Otto was just making a pitiful demand for my full affections. Until it is determined if he truly needs doggie Prozac or not, I have hid all the razor blades and loaded guns in the house (probably good practice anyway), just in case.

Gone, perhaps to Africa.

Sometime in January, Dan got word of a possible six week mission to Africa. You know, like the three previous ones he had been slated for  and then had cancelled hours before he was supposed to leave and after we had packed all his bags and bought all his supplies... So, you can understand that I was dubious about it actually happening this time. I was especially sure it wouldn't happen when a week before they were supposed to leave Dan's diplomatic passport was no where to be found, his old unit had "misplaced it." No passport = no mission to Africa. Well, roughly 36 hours before the plane took off, he got a call that he was still good to go, he could just bring his civilian passport. I still retained doubts as I dropped him off at the SLC airport. 

Later that evening, I got this picture. Which appears to be Dan in Times Square. A storm had caused them to miss their flight out of NYC, so they were spending the night there. I figured it would be at this point that the mission would be cancelled an he'd be on his way home. 

But low and behold, the above pictures started appearing in the past weeks, leading me to believe he's actually been in Africa for the past month, or that he has access to a lot of elaborate staging materials. His emails sound fairly convincing too. All this talk of blistering heat, long boring days in tents, and the occasional excursion into the village... I'll make my final call on whether they actually went to Africa upon his return and my inspection of my souvenir for legitimacy. 

So while Dan has been away, I have even more time to devote to my favorite Logan winter past time: staying indoors and watching TV. Upon several suggestions, I tried out Downtown Abbey... And ended up watching all three seasons within the course of a week and a half. I'd definitely put it in the guilty pleasure category, but still, it was pleasurable. I also watched all of the available episodes of the Mindy Project, and probably saddest of all, I watched 3 episodes of the Kardashians. My little sister and her friend Maggie were watching it at my house, and well, I kind of got in to it. I only watched a few on my own before I realized that this was a very guilty pleasure, that wasn't all that pleasurable.

I've also been doing a lot of doggie cuddling. Especially as he recently had a fairly serious brush with death (upcoming post). His new lease on life has made him all the more sweet and cuddly. So thats about all I can account for doing in the last month: watching TV and snuggling with Otto. I should probably be embarrassed. But I'd be lying if I said I don't have Otto on my lap right now and an episode of Parks and Rec waiting me for to push play.

#hashtags 4

#dontneedapedometer
I was looking at this fancy fitbit device the other day. But then I realized I would have no need for its pedometer function, I know exactly how many steps I take a day: 20. I walk from my car into work to sit at my desk all day, and then back to my car. Thats it. I could blame my complete inactivity on a lot of things: too cold/icy/dark to run outside anymore, the gym decided to make spin classes for students only, etc etc. But really, I've just gotten cold and lazy. I don't even oogle lululemon gear anymore! Any suggestions for recapturing motivation are welcome. Because the posters all over Pinterest, like the one above, clearly aren't working.

#weneedatvshownow
Dan and I almost always have a "story" going. (The word "story" to reference a tv show stems from Dan's missionary experiences in LA. Often times older Black ladies would tell him that "They'd love to hear about Jesus, but I gotta go, my stories are on... [insert some soap opera title here].") We've never had cable so we always have seasons of our "story" of current choice on netflix or dvd, which can sometimes lead to spending an entire weekend powering through an especially good season. Over time we've had our standout favorites: Arrested Development, Flight of the Concords, Dexter, Mad Men, Breaking Bad... But we've recently run out of all seasons of them. We've tried a few lately that we just didn't like (Game of Thrones, American Horror Story), so if you have a story suggestion, do share!

#bootswiththefurrrrr
So I invested in some Sorels. I can once again go outside without my feet turning into instant icicles. They're lined with thinsulate, proven to -25 degrees, waterproof, and, I'd be lying if I said I didn't love the fur. Can't wait to take these babies snowshoeing. 

{i'm also thinking the newsletter needs a "hey girl" in every edition}

#toomucheditingpower

So I finally got my first calling post-Monterey. I am the official Relief Society Newsletter Editor. At first I was like, "Wow, what a DI calling." But then I thought that perhaps it will be fun. I can put my long rusty InDesign skills to use and try to create a cool layout. And then I really started thinking...Maybe I could even publish some envelope pushing features: look forward to my upcoming "New Feminism: LDS Women Wear Pants to Church Day - what did it all mean?" article. It's sure to be a conversation starter.*

*Mom, don't worry. I won't really make the newsletter controversial.... Though I may spice up "The Getting to Know you Corner" with more interesting questions.  

Cabin Fever vs Frost Nip

I've now lived in Northern Utah for over four years. I was pretty sure I knew what cold was. And then I moved to Logan. Walking to the mailbox results in all the snot in your nose freezing, your ears feeling like they're going to snap off, and the inability to use your hands in any meaningful way. And that's a 3 minute jaunt. This has made any prospect of going outside most displeasurable. But after about a month of 0 outdoor activity, I was feeling pretty sick of it. So when Anna proposed we go snowshoeing, I jumped on board. We rented our shoes and headed out in the -7 degree weather. Except we forgot to factor  in that if it was -7 at home, it would be at least 10 degrees cooler in the canyon. 

We didn't make it very far. Otto was the only one not wishing for warm swift  death.

But we couldn't let our good snowshoe rental money go to waste.  So the next day with better clothing, slightly warmer temps, and renewed zeal, we struck out again. Dan even rented a pair of snowshoes and joined in the "fun". It was a rather intense couple of hours, but we made it all the way to the wind caves! Above 30 minutes in, my feet started to hurt. Bad. It was reminiscent of the hell that was skiing as a child. But I resolved I was no longer a ski school flunkie, I wouldn't retreat to the lodge, I would persevere! When we got home and I took of my boots I realized I couldn't feel my feet at all. When I took off my socks my feet were completely blanched white. Slowly, they began to hurt. So. Bad. Granted I have a non existent pain tolerance level, but I started to bawl. It. was. Awful. I know I'm super melodramatic, but I truly believe in my heart of hearts, I had/have the beginning stages of frostbite, also known as "frost nip". 

So basically for the next couple months Logan presents me with two options:

"Cabin Fever or Frost Nip? Take your pick!"

Its not New Years without a Rocket.

After a white-knuckled drive through a pretty intense storm, we arrived in STG, ready for New Years festivities. Some Highlights:

One of my favorite STG past times is "doggy walks". Basically you take Otto, Copper, and Cedric down into the Lava beds behind my parents house and let them run wild. Otto loves his leash-less time, free from the oppresion of the evil empire of Logan City...

What's this you may ask? Why this is my mom's billy goat friend. Since the rest of left the house, Katheryn has filled her sister-less void by taking up animal husbandry. Well, actually she is just raising a pig through FFA (which I wish I would have got a non blurry picture of, the thing is totally frightening.) While Katheryn cares for her piggy, my mom sneaks Organic Granola to this goat that has a beard. Things haven't gotten weird at all....

And of course, there was the annual ROCKET DAY! This year we moved toward a more equal playing field by all teams being given the same model of rocket.

Here is Kiersten and Michael with their "US Challenger".

But, alas, it was Dan and I's Shabab III (an homage to the Iranian Nuclear program) that took first place for flight time this year. Dominated.

What's a trip to STG without some excercising of our second amendment

rights? Dan's jealously knows no bounds as the Burrs both got Glochs for Christmas, Yes, that is my darling bad-a friend shooting her own Gloch. Could Branda be any cooler? I think not. 

Our New Years Eve became a legit party when the Burrs came over to join us for treats, some very rousing rounds of "Telestrations", and my Dad's grand finale of laterns and close quarters fireworks. Luckily no one was (seriously) injured. 

Happy New Year!

Christmas- Top 10 Recap

It was a very adult christmas. Is it just me, or did my previous statement make it sound like a pornographic event? What I mean to say was that Dan's sister Tori and Tim and their kids were in California, and Dan's youngest sister Jill is on a mission. That left Nana, Dan's parents, Dan and I, and his two brothers Steve and Chris at home. Meaning we leisurely got up 9:30 and their was limited squealing  Well, maybe there was some squealing. 

1) Otto in a globe

Denise isn't a pet person. At all. So we sent Otto down to my parent's house for Christmas where he could play with the other dogs and not bother people who would rather not having an 80lb beast pulling over their Christmas Tree. However, we couldn't help but tease Denise a little. We found this awesome snow globe at Wal-mart, had a photo session with Otto, and created a wonderful stocking stuffer for Denise. Ha. We think we're funny.

2) Ann the Card Shark

If I had to come up with a title for this Christmas, it would be the "Year of Rummy."This is Ann, dan's rad 85 year old Grandmother who travels the globe, attends her "Daughter of the American Revolution" Meetings faithfully, and absolutely dominates at card games. Dan and I played no less than 30 rounds of Rummy with her. She lures you in under the pretense of a fun, friendly game. Then she proceeds to dominate you. Don't let her fool you, Ann is a card shark. But a fun one.

3) Chris' Christmas Engagement

This is Chris, Dan's brother. He got engaged on Christmas Day. Sadly I don't have a picture of him with his finacee, but I can vouch for the fact that she is real. Congrats Chris and Amber!

4) Cafe Rio & Bing

Denise instituted a new tradition (well, i'm voting for it to become a tradition)  this year: Christmas Eve Cafe Rio take-out and watching Bing Crosby's White Christmas. This is truly the pinnacle of perfection.

5) Got Good Presents

It was like christmas gift nirvana - a perfect blend of stuff i knew I really wanted/needed and some good surprises. I was pleased as punch. 

6) Gave Good Presents

Even better than getting presents is giving them. I felt like we did pretty good at giving this year. We gave Rick the complete Back to the Future Blu-Ray DVD set and he loved it. I think, Or he's just really good at pretending. Either way, we'll take it!

7) Basked in the Glory of Steve's Cat Sweater

Because really, it is quite glorious. 

8) Santa hooked Dan up

Santa stuffed Dan's stocking with what may or may not be the last box of .223 in Davis County. 

A certain elf looked all over the place

9) Ate A lot, and then some more. 
So much delicious food. Including multiple batches of Peppermint Fudge Brownies.

10) Had a Merry Christmas
My dad texted me this picture on Christmas Eve and it made me so happy. We had a wonderful Christmas with Dan's family, then had a white knuckled drive through a storm down to STG for New Years.
To Be continued... 

"Lauren, Brigham Young once said..."

As I as headed out the door from Thanksgiving at my parent's house my Grandpa stopped me and imparted this gem: 

"Lauren, Brigham Young said there would come a day when young married people would choose to have cats and dogs over babies. I'm just saying."* 

* A google search yielded no such quote attributable to Brother Brigham

** I have no idea what he was implying

*** Otto actually nipped at Santa as well as refused to sit on his lap #gettingnothingbutcoalforsure