Another deeply reflective post? On my weeks off, I have too much time to think... I found myself reflecting pretty deeply on my life while on the treadmill. As far as trials go in life, I know I've had it pretty easy (Dan says I'm cursing myself by saying this out loud.) But it's true, though I've had things I've struggled with, I've never gotten leprosy or been swallowed by a giant sea mammal ("Whales aren't fish!" My little Sunbeams are so smart). To me, this experience in Monterey has thus far been my Whale in life. I've never had something I wanted so bad and had no control over that I prayed multiple times a day, fasted for, spent every Sacrament meeting pooring my heart out about - trying to procure intervention from someone who does have control over it.
- First it was wanting Dan to succeed in the Persian class. We prayed so hard for him to be kept in that class, to be able to keep going and graduate after so much work. But, the answer was no.
- Then we hoped for a spot in a restarting Persian class, that Dan might be able to not throw away all his Farsi skills and keep in a language he wanted to learn and would be beneficial later. After a few weeks of hoping, again the answer was no.
- French it was. We were happy to be starting in any language, just as long as it was soon. Then we found out he doesn't have a spot till September. But there is a chance he could get a wait list spot in the May class, that way I could still make it to my much needed fall semester at BYU! So again, we poured ourselves into prayer that this would work out. Today at 1:00, we found out that it didn't. There was no spot in the May class for him.
Again, it hasn't worked out as I wanted. But its not about what I want, its about what Heavenly Father wants for me. I'm trying to gather what I am supposed to learn, and I think one of those things is trusting that Heavenly Father knows what is best for me, and he's getting me there, even if I can't see where its going. And Patience. I think he's trying to teach me lots of patience.
And while this is already churchy wordy overload, an anecdote: One of my favorite little sunbeams turned to me, "Sister Mealy, can I tell you a secret?" Yes of course I said, bracing myself for something intense. "Flamingos are pink because they eat shrimp." That is an awesome secret Cambria, thank you so much for sharing it with me.
3 comments:
Sorry, about May class slot. But, hey, look at it this way. If Dan didn't come here he wouldn't have met Mark and didn't finish some very important missions in record time on Call of Duty!:) ha ha. Seriously, as hard as it is for you guys, I'm glad to see that you are keeping a positive attitude.
I honestly don't understand when my plans and heavenly fathers just aren't the same! I wish I could see the reason behind things, but I guess this wouldn't be a test if we knew what the questions/ answers were ahead of time. I love your deep in thought posts... way to look for the good!
At least you know you're not the only one who wants control in one aspect of your life but it's the one thing you can't get it with. I know how you feel. I feel exactly the same like I am supposed to be learning patience but it's so hard to understand. I'm assuming you know what I'm talking about (with our mothers' frequent conversing and all.)
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