The Time We Got Policemanned

Want to hear a funny story? Dan and I, you know, the ones who take our puppy to preschool, spend all of our money on dog toys and treats (even special ordering elk antler chew toys from minnesota), and come home early from date night because we feel bad leaving Otto at home alone - are being investigated for animal abuse. I know.

 Here's what happened: 

Dan and I were out doing yard work and Otto was hanging out with us. We were just finishing up sweeping up clippings when our neighbor's two year old came running by our driveway. Otto loves playing with our niece and nephew, so he ran after the little neighbor boy in hopes he would play with him like they do. Otto is huge now but is still a toddler himself and doesn't always act appropriately... ie knocking down little kids and jumping on them because he's so excited. So Dan and I run after Otto to bring him back to our house, but he's so excited he won't listen or come back. He jumps on the little guy and I'm afraid he's going to accidently hurt him so I grab his collar and pull him away, but I loose my grip on him as he's full on lunging his 35 pounds away and he goes after the little kid again. So Dan hurriedly sprints after him, grabs his collar again and jerks him away into our yard. It must have scared Otto because he begins to scream. He really does this weird screaming thing when he's scared (its happened before when he's gotten stung by a bee and the time he fell out of the Sequoia). He wasn't hurt - Dan didn't hit him or anything - but he wouldn't calm down. Right then this crazy hippy lady from up the street comes by on her bike- wearing a reflective vest in the middle of the day I might add - and starts yelling at us how she's "going to call the police!!!" "You're abusing your dog!!!" "You people are so terrible!!!" I was so mad that I started yelling back at her. She didn't even see what happened! Are you kidding me? We're supposed to let our dog possibly injure a child? No way jose! He's a dog! And he wasn't even hurt! Whatever. Otto chilled out in about 30 seconds and we all went inside. We gave Otto a jerky treat, I listened to some Sufjan Stevens, and we were all mellowed out. Well an hour later when Dan and I are about to leave for a belated anniversary dinner date the cops show up at our door. Seriously. The lady filled a report of abuse claiming that Dan hit the dog repeatedly with a broom (umm the broom was still laying in our driveway, it never even came into the neighbors yard). Don't worry, the cops thought she was crazy too, and the neighbors who actually saw what happended corroborated our story. But still we had to fill out a report and now animal services will be checking up on us to make sure were fit dog owners. 

And that concludes "The Time We got Policemanned."*

*(My mom used to threaten us that the police man would pull us over if we didn't wear our seat belts. Anna somehow turned this threat into a verb, "You'll get policemanned!"