the capstone paper from hell. or chechyna.

{zombie lauren. don't be jealous of how cute i look.}

After watching 4.5 million zombie movies with Dan, I've come to wonder what I'd look like/ be like in Zombie Lauren form. I need to wonder no more, I found out by staying awake (I use that term loosely) for a full 48 hours. You see, I had this Capstone Paper, a lovely 40 page Arabic laced Capstone paper that I've know about since the begining of the semester, yet in true Lauren fashion decided to wait to the last humanely possible second to begin writing. 

{when I asked dan at 1 am to go out an buy me some coke to take to school the next day, I didn't know he'd get a liter. yes, I have no shame, i carried the liter around byu with me.}

{A few times, when I started to freak out, i'd stack my reference books into towers. it helped me chill out. and look like a psychopath}

Enter two days of living in the UofU library, alternately crying, staring at a blank screen, and drinking diet coke. Of course, the night before it was due I got sick (pretty sure food poisoning), so I was alternately vomiting diet coke and writing poorly constructed sentences. It. Was. Awful. 

Both the experience and my paper on the Islamization of Chechens. 

Luckily I had a wonderful weekend of laziness to recuperate. My sister Anna came up to go to "A Day" at Utah State, I accompanied her for moral support. We then spent the rest of the weekend watching The Hunger Games (so good!), going to the new City Creek Mall (so crowded we only stayed for a few minutes), and laying on the couch watching Dexter and drinking Super Big Gulps.

 I'm so glad I've converted another to my sick amount of soda drinking. No, its not paleo friendly, but come on, I have to choose one thing to make life still worth living. And I choose Diet Coke. 

Happy List: 5 things

1) I got to see my parents + Kat last weekend, though the circumstances were less than ideal. My dad came up to have surgery at the U of U. He’d already had surgery down in St. George, but there was so much scar tissue that he was still having problems (he got a bad infection)… Poor man was in a lot of pain. Hopefully things heal up properly after this surgery and he can FINALLY get better (all these problems are still from his accident in Belize, in December!) Bensons show love with balloons, so Kat got these awesome ones to bring to my dad while he was staying in the hospital, but alas was turned away at the front desk. Stupid Latex rules. 

2) My GOTR Season has started

I was pretty nervous going into this coaching gig, but so far, its been awesome. The girls are all really amazing – we have a very diverse team coming from all spectrums of the cultural and socioeconomic scale, but they are all kind to each other and work really well together. One of my favorite things so far was our lesson on positive self talk. After the lesson, we ran our laps and at each lap we would give the girls a positive self message to repeat for the lap, like “I am beautiful!” It was so fun to see the girls beam when we told them something positive, and it was even better when we reversed roles and me and my co-coach had to run as the girls gave us positive messages. I really felt all warm and fuzzy from all the good things the girls had to tell me. Next week were talking about body image – a lesson I think I need more than the girls – and I’m really excited for it. We end our practices with a group cheer, “GIRLS ON THE RUN IS SO MUCH FUN!!!” And really, it is.

3.We joined a cult. 

Its called Crossfit. They take all of our money and then torture us. Really though, its crazy. If you ever want to see something hilarious, you should watch me try to do snatchs with a barbell or do kipping pull ups on the bar… Perhaps the craziest part of our new cult is the diet: Paleo. Crossfit propoganda dictates that you must follow a Paleolithic Diet, only eating what cavemen would eat, sort of ( I totally don’t buy into the “science” and “anthropology” behind this method, I’m doing it out of sheer peer pressure)…. So basically dan and I are constantly sore from the crazy workouts and constantly about to gnaw each other’s arms off from the carb deficiency induced mania. 

{okay, so the finish line was flat. but thats it. i swear!}

{no i don't want any of your dirty bagels. i'm perfectly happy w/ my paleo friendly post-race orange.... not}

4. I ran in a racing club's race.  

My training for the Ogden Marathon has been rather lackluster, so I was excited to find out about the Ogden Racing Circuit – this is what I needed to force me to run. This Saturday they had a 10 miler, I read on their website it was least attended of the circuit because the course was “challenging.” Umm yeah, it was challenging. The whole thing was running up the hills of Ogden above Weber State. The only flat/non killer grade was the first mile. Sick joke. I think the guy who turned to me with a look of death at mile 7 summed it up pretty well: “This b*tch is all up hill!” Dan deserves an awesome husband award as he woke up at 6am today (his only day to sleep in) and drove me up to Ogden, patiently waited for me during my race, then took me back to SLC and went to the Symphony with me! (I needed to go for a class, we're not that cultured to go of our own volition). 

Things next week should be awesome for Dan, all my sisters, and every other student in the state of Utah, as they have Spring Break. Oh, except for my school who doesn't believe in Spring Break/ recreation/ enjoyment of life in any way shape or form...

BYU SHOULD BURN!!!!!

But I've already said that. 

It's not quite Nigeria...

So Dan was supposed to go on a two week training mission to Cameroon in April. However, last Monday he got an email with orders to Nigeria, leaving that Sunday! When he called his command, they told him things were still up in the air. Up in the air indeed. He kept getting told it was cancelled, not cancelled, cancelled, not cancelled... On Wednesday morning he got an email with plane tickets leaving to Nigeria on Thursday. So we rushed around, packing, picking up anti-malaria drugs, getting everything ready, till he gets a call that evening telling him that the mission is indeed CANCELLED. Since Dan's bags were already packed and it was a long weekend, we did the only logical thing: Headed to St. George. It's not quite Nigeria, but its warmer than Salt Lake! Though in some ways I think our trip was rather similar to any army training he would've gotten...

Weapons Course

No trip to STG is complete without a round of shooting things in the desert. This time my Dad upped the ante by purchasing this lovely "Bleeds when you Shoot it" zombie target. 

SURVIVAL SKILLS COURSE

Anna and I ran down from the Ledges and met the family at the Chuckwalla trailhead for a nice afternoon Red Cliffs hike in the sun! We survived this rigorous adventure and were rewarded with ice cream from my dad's latest food obsession:  Marble Slab Creamery.  

BUILDING MISSILES

Well, we were trying to build rockets... But Dan and I's shot in the air about 10 feet and then dove straight down, nose cone in the ground- making it more of a guided missile. ROCKET DAY was still awesome/hilarious - despite my Dad's best efforts and premature victory dance, it was actually my Uncle Matt's rocket that took home the cake this year!

GATHERING INTEL

Admittedly, this army lingo tie in is pretty weak... But I did to get to catch up with my friend Brandalee  for a little bit, while she made this awesome wedding cake. I was totally helpful, I actually broke one of the decorative paisley swirls. Sorry again about that. I also got to see her little guys and kiss the top of Paxon's head - always a plus. 

{I also found a folder of pictures from Africa that I've been looking for a long time for. Yes, I was once blonde and tan.}

I feel bad for Dan not getting to go to Africa, its a pretty cool place and all. But, I still stand by the fact that

St. George, UT is the best place on planet earth. 

Love & Hate - Valentines Day

❤Love ❤

Started the day with some early morning spin. Followed by picking up donuts from our favorite donut shop, Banbury Cross, for a special valentine breakfast treat!

Hate –

I then had to go school alllll dayyyy. Shouldn't we get school off for such a major holiday?

❤Love ❤ 

Dan picked me up from the train station and took me to my favorite mall. He then proceeded to give me the best gift ever: he sat patiently, as in not a single peep of complaint, as I shopped at my beloved J. Crew.

 

❤Love ❤

 We honored our Valentine’s Day tradition of Pizza by going to The Pie. Never disappoints. 

Love/Hate: 

Last minute, we heard that one of our favorite bands of all time, Cursive, was playing at Urban Lounge. We both really wanted to go as Cursive’s “Domestica” is pretty much our favorite alblum of all time – we listened to it nonstop in our dating years – how perfectly romantic for a Valentine’s day date! Well… Domestica was 10 years ago. Cursive kind of sucks now. It would have been better to remember them as they were, not as they are in their present cello-less, political, Mormon hating state.  Also hate: really, really obnoxious drunks that spit/shove/ get totally outta control at show (I was rather concerned that the former straight edger in Dan was going to come out and beat up one of those drunks.)

 

Yet their was still something to love at the concert: the opening band Ume. Their lead singer/guitarist girl was crazy good! And her crazy hair was cool too. 

{probably should've waited till after the show to buy the shirt...} 

♥ Definitely love, not hate: My Valentine. 

SGT

{note: this is a reenactment}

Dan got promoted! He’s now Sergeant Dan. The promotion from E4 to E5 is significant because he is now an NCO (non-commissioned officer). So basically Dan is now super fancy and were totally rich…. Not really though. At his drill today I got the ceremonious job of ripping of his old rank, sticking on the new one, and then punching him in the chest. Its tradition! Rick, Denise, Chris and Jill came all the way down to watch the 30 second promotion, so afterward the least we could do was have them over for some food. Last minute I threw up some streamers to make it a "party." Next promotion I plan to go all out, themed party galore, good thing I've got a few years to work on it. 

Other than the promotion, not much else exciting has been going on...Well, Every night for the past week I go up to the U in the dark of night and hang posters as part of my side career as a guerrilla street marketer. The posters are part of my professor’s master thesis (crazy MFA creative writing people), and I will do anything to get extra credit in my Creative Writing Class. And I mean anything.

I’ve also been going to training for my new volunteer gig: Girls on the Run. I will be meeting twice a week with a group of 15 third grade girls to teach life lessons and then running laps in preparation for  an end of season 5k. Should be interesting…

{in all of his beauty, Meowers}

I’ve also spent the last week grieving over the loss of my beloved cat, Meowy (yes, as an 8 year old I was super good at naming pets, his full name is Meowers – don’t hate). He has been in our family for 15 years, technically making him more a part of our family than Katheryn, who has only been with us for 14... The most troubling aspect of this ordeal is that he didn’t go out in a blaze of glory befitting his cat awesomeness, but rather left without a trace. The circumstances of his disappearance are quite suspect as a creepy guy recently moved into a house a few blocks away from my parents and he is known to be trapping cats! He doesn’t turn them into the animal shelter, so we don’t really know what happens to them… I pray that Meowy didn’t meet that fate and rather lives on in the desert as the immortal magnificent cat he is. 

Christmas Cash Wishlist

This Christmas I received several gifts in the form of "cash money." Which is nice because then I can spend it on whatever I want, but is also bad because I have a really hard determining what I really want.

Crossfit Gym Membership

Every year I set a goal to lift weights. Every year I fail. I think crossfit would be great because a) it would force me to do weight lifting b) Dan and I could do it together c) I just really want to because the most fit people I've ever met do it. But its ridiculously expensive. Like 5x as much as a normal gym membership.

Mia

My face has been breaking out like mad. It really helps my self confidence - NOT. My co-worker at the Dermatologist/Plastic Surgeon's office I worked at swore by the Mia. She owned multiple Mias and her skin was flawless. I just can't quite invest $100 in something to scrub my face... But I want to.

J. Crew

Part of me really just wants to walk into J. Crew and buy an entire outfit from their Spring Look book. That would be marvelous. And ridiculously expensive. 

Noise canceling earphones

Not necessarily to listen to music, but just to cancel out the noise on the bus:

On Friday I got to enjoy a 1.5 hour bus ride while the girl sitting next to me read aloud (quite jarringly) from both "The Miracle of Forgiveness" and "The Best of EFY." I couldn't be upset though, because she was mentally disabled. Seriously. More than one person has suggested it was God's way of punishing me. I'm inclined to agree.

First World Problems

I've been a little unhappy lately for the following reasons:

- The general post Christmas, post-vacation blues...

- Everyday this semester I spend 3-6 hours (depending upon if I drive or ride UTA) commuting to my least favorite place on planet earth (BYU)

- My favorite spin teacher at the U graduated, thus this semester I am lacking the spin endorphins that mellow me and make me a nicer human.

- My classes are none too delightful, but I need them all to graduate (dropping is not an option). My creative writing class gives me serious anxiety- I do not enjoy reading things I wrote aloud and then letting my peers have a free for all on what I did wrong....

- I gained some weight over the holidays, and any and all attempts to eat healthy keep being thwarted by need to soothe above mentioned problems with cookies/peanut butter/donuts/handfuls of white chocolate chips.

(this is a first world problem)

When I read over my list, the first thing that comes to mind is "FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS!" Seriously, I need to chill out, all my problems are pretty trivial. And I have so many things to be happy about:

1) Dan got a Job

He wasn't even really looking for one. It just sort of fell in his lap. He had training this weekend and got to be shot with a Tazer Gun (you know, the crazy kind with the prongs that go in your skin!). He said it was horrible, but I know that secretly he feels pretty bad-a about it.

2) I got to read books, for fun!

Over Christmas break I had time to read books that I wanted to read, without feeling guilty for neglecting school books. Two I would recommend (Spontaneous Happiness and Catherine the Great), one I would not (god is not great.)

3)  Anna and Katty came for an MLK day visit. There was Indian food cooking, shopping, and red iguana eating. Sisters make the best kind of friends. Especially since they HAVE to be my friends.

On second thought, perhaps I should be wanting more problems, bigger problems so that I can exploit them for use in my creative writing class. Nothing says good essay like tragedy. Am I right?