#hashtags 4

#dontneedapedometer
I was looking at this fancy fitbit device the other day. But then I realized I would have no need for its pedometer function, I know exactly how many steps I take a day: 20. I walk from my car into work to sit at my desk all day, and then back to my car. Thats it. I could blame my complete inactivity on a lot of things: too cold/icy/dark to run outside anymore, the gym decided to make spin classes for students only, etc etc. But really, I've just gotten cold and lazy. I don't even oogle lululemon gear anymore! Any suggestions for recapturing motivation are welcome. Because the posters all over Pinterest, like the one above, clearly aren't working.

#weneedatvshownow
Dan and I almost always have a "story" going. (The word "story" to reference a tv show stems from Dan's missionary experiences in LA. Often times older Black ladies would tell him that "They'd love to hear about Jesus, but I gotta go, my stories are on... [insert some soap opera title here].") We've never had cable so we always have seasons of our "story" of current choice on netflix or dvd, which can sometimes lead to spending an entire weekend powering through an especially good season. Over time we've had our standout favorites: Arrested Development, Flight of the Concords, Dexter, Mad Men, Breaking Bad... But we've recently run out of all seasons of them. We've tried a few lately that we just didn't like (Game of Thrones, American Horror Story), so if you have a story suggestion, do share!

#bootswiththefurrrrr
So I invested in some Sorels. I can once again go outside without my feet turning into instant icicles. They're lined with thinsulate, proven to -25 degrees, waterproof, and, I'd be lying if I said I didn't love the fur. Can't wait to take these babies snowshoeing. 

{i'm also thinking the newsletter needs a "hey girl" in every edition}

#toomucheditingpower

So I finally got my first calling post-Monterey. I am the official Relief Society Newsletter Editor. At first I was like, "Wow, what a DI calling." But then I thought that perhaps it will be fun. I can put my long rusty InDesign skills to use and try to create a cool layout. And then I really started thinking...Maybe I could even publish some envelope pushing features: look forward to my upcoming "New Feminism: LDS Women Wear Pants to Church Day - what did it all mean?" article. It's sure to be a conversation starter.*

*Mom, don't worry. I won't really make the newsletter controversial.... Though I may spice up "The Getting to Know you Corner" with more interesting questions.  

Cabin Fever vs Frost Nip

I've now lived in Northern Utah for over four years. I was pretty sure I knew what cold was. And then I moved to Logan. Walking to the mailbox results in all the snot in your nose freezing, your ears feeling like they're going to snap off, and the inability to use your hands in any meaningful way. And that's a 3 minute jaunt. This has made any prospect of going outside most displeasurable. But after about a month of 0 outdoor activity, I was feeling pretty sick of it. So when Anna proposed we go snowshoeing, I jumped on board. We rented our shoes and headed out in the -7 degree weather. Except we forgot to factor  in that if it was -7 at home, it would be at least 10 degrees cooler in the canyon. 

We didn't make it very far. Otto was the only one not wishing for warm swift  death.

But we couldn't let our good snowshoe rental money go to waste.  So the next day with better clothing, slightly warmer temps, and renewed zeal, we struck out again. Dan even rented a pair of snowshoes and joined in the "fun". It was a rather intense couple of hours, but we made it all the way to the wind caves! Above 30 minutes in, my feet started to hurt. Bad. It was reminiscent of the hell that was skiing as a child. But I resolved I was no longer a ski school flunkie, I wouldn't retreat to the lodge, I would persevere! When we got home and I took of my boots I realized I couldn't feel my feet at all. When I took off my socks my feet were completely blanched white. Slowly, they began to hurt. So. Bad. Granted I have a non existent pain tolerance level, but I started to bawl. It. was. Awful. I know I'm super melodramatic, but I truly believe in my heart of hearts, I had/have the beginning stages of frostbite, also known as "frost nip". 

So basically for the next couple months Logan presents me with two options:

"Cabin Fever or Frost Nip? Take your pick!"

Its not New Years without a Rocket.

After a white-knuckled drive through a pretty intense storm, we arrived in STG, ready for New Years festivities. Some Highlights:

One of my favorite STG past times is "doggy walks". Basically you take Otto, Copper, and Cedric down into the Lava beds behind my parents house and let them run wild. Otto loves his leash-less time, free from the oppresion of the evil empire of Logan City...

What's this you may ask? Why this is my mom's billy goat friend. Since the rest of left the house, Katheryn has filled her sister-less void by taking up animal husbandry. Well, actually she is just raising a pig through FFA (which I wish I would have got a non blurry picture of, the thing is totally frightening.) While Katheryn cares for her piggy, my mom sneaks Organic Granola to this goat that has a beard. Things haven't gotten weird at all....

And of course, there was the annual ROCKET DAY! This year we moved toward a more equal playing field by all teams being given the same model of rocket.

Here is Kiersten and Michael with their "US Challenger".

But, alas, it was Dan and I's Shabab III (an homage to the Iranian Nuclear program) that took first place for flight time this year. Dominated.

What's a trip to STG without some excercising of our second amendment

rights? Dan's jealously knows no bounds as the Burrs both got Glochs for Christmas, Yes, that is my darling bad-a friend shooting her own Gloch. Could Branda be any cooler? I think not. 

Our New Years Eve became a legit party when the Burrs came over to join us for treats, some very rousing rounds of "Telestrations", and my Dad's grand finale of laterns and close quarters fireworks. Luckily no one was (seriously) injured. 

Happy New Year!

Christmas- Top 10 Recap

It was a very adult christmas. Is it just me, or did my previous statement make it sound like a pornographic event? What I mean to say was that Dan's sister Tori and Tim and their kids were in California, and Dan's youngest sister Jill is on a mission. That left Nana, Dan's parents, Dan and I, and his two brothers Steve and Chris at home. Meaning we leisurely got up 9:30 and their was limited squealing  Well, maybe there was some squealing. 

1) Otto in a globe

Denise isn't a pet person. At all. So we sent Otto down to my parent's house for Christmas where he could play with the other dogs and not bother people who would rather not having an 80lb beast pulling over their Christmas Tree. However, we couldn't help but tease Denise a little. We found this awesome snow globe at Wal-mart, had a photo session with Otto, and created a wonderful stocking stuffer for Denise. Ha. We think we're funny.

2) Ann the Card Shark

If I had to come up with a title for this Christmas, it would be the "Year of Rummy."This is Ann, dan's rad 85 year old Grandmother who travels the globe, attends her "Daughter of the American Revolution" Meetings faithfully, and absolutely dominates at card games. Dan and I played no less than 30 rounds of Rummy with her. She lures you in under the pretense of a fun, friendly game. Then she proceeds to dominate you. Don't let her fool you, Ann is a card shark. But a fun one.

3) Chris' Christmas Engagement

This is Chris, Dan's brother. He got engaged on Christmas Day. Sadly I don't have a picture of him with his finacee, but I can vouch for the fact that she is real. Congrats Chris and Amber!

4) Cafe Rio & Bing

Denise instituted a new tradition (well, i'm voting for it to become a tradition)  this year: Christmas Eve Cafe Rio take-out and watching Bing Crosby's White Christmas. This is truly the pinnacle of perfection.

5) Got Good Presents

It was like christmas gift nirvana - a perfect blend of stuff i knew I really wanted/needed and some good surprises. I was pleased as punch. 

6) Gave Good Presents

Even better than getting presents is giving them. I felt like we did pretty good at giving this year. We gave Rick the complete Back to the Future Blu-Ray DVD set and he loved it. I think, Or he's just really good at pretending. Either way, we'll take it!

7) Basked in the Glory of Steve's Cat Sweater

Because really, it is quite glorious. 

8) Santa hooked Dan up

Santa stuffed Dan's stocking with what may or may not be the last box of .223 in Davis County. 

A certain elf looked all over the place

9) Ate A lot, and then some more. 
So much delicious food. Including multiple batches of Peppermint Fudge Brownies.

10) Had a Merry Christmas
My dad texted me this picture on Christmas Eve and it made me so happy. We had a wonderful Christmas with Dan's family, then had a white knuckled drive through a storm down to STG for New Years.
To Be continued... 

"Lauren, Brigham Young once said..."

As I as headed out the door from Thanksgiving at my parent's house my Grandpa stopped me and imparted this gem: 

"Lauren, Brigham Young said there would come a day when young married people would choose to have cats and dogs over babies. I'm just saying."* 

* A google search yielded no such quote attributable to Brother Brigham

** I have no idea what he was implying

*** Otto actually nipped at Santa as well as refused to sit on his lap #gettingnothingbutcoalforsure

Run, for the Octopus! (Thanksgiving Recap)

It was an epic and wonderful Thanksgiving in St. George with my family. 

And it began with an Octopus...

We kicked off Turkey day with the annual (annual in that it has happened once before) BENSON TURKEY TROT! Katheryn and I went to Party Land the night before with hopes of purchasing a balloon crown for the Trot Champion, cool idea right? Well, the employee that knows how to make the crowns wasn't in that night, so of course we did the most logical thing possible and bought a random balloon octopus that was sitting on the counter... Who wouldn't be motivated to win by this guy?

The trot was especially awesome because Branda, Kade, and their little guy Paxon participated. Don't mind that my friend has two kids, is four months pregnant, and still runs faster than I do.

She's rad. There was fierce competition for first place: Anna came in first, Katheryn second, and Dad third. Kiersten and my Mom dominated the walking division, while the rest of his jogged in at a good clip. Nothing like a brisk 3 miles to counterbalance the 5,000 calorie feast I was about to consume... or to at least mitigate a singular roll.

What are these fine looking place cards you may ask? Why these are little mayflower ships I spent hours crafting. Another Pinterest deceit: it looked quick, easy, and cute. It turned out tedious, finger burning (hot glue involved), and not at all resembling a sea worthy pilgrim filled vessel. Oh well.

No food pictures, but I assure you a truly wondrous feast was had thanks to my Mom. It was especially cool because this is one of the few times we've had a holiday with my mom's side of the family - added bonus: my favorite Hales cousin, Mackenzie, and her boyfriend Jackson came all the way from Minnesota.

The Mackenzie/Jackson duo won the gingerbread house making competition that followed dinner - though great efforts were put in by all.

Speaking of Jackson and Mackenzie, they are hard core rock climbers. We decided to take advantage of the awesome weather and go out for a climb (and by climb I mean I sat on level ground and read The Economist - I'm a scaredy cat.) After a jaunt to Chuckawalla we went out to a site in Snow Canyon that was supposed to be a pretty easy climb. 

It may have been - but we will never know. The "trail" up to the climb was some seriously intense hiking/bouldering. Certain members of our group were sure this was a death march (granted it was seriously steep, Mackenzie's border collie was shaking like crazy and had to be hoisted several times), and so we decided to abandon the plan and head home before it got dark. Still fun though.

In a nutshell, Thanksgiving was grand. Moving on to Christmas...

Kicking off the Christmas Season was the annual and much dreaded Army Christmas Party, better known as mandatory fun. You know its gonna be a rockin' party when you have to sign in and promise not to leave till the end. This year was especially interesting as we dressed up, were served a mediocre dinner, and then forced to watch nearly 3 hours of a borderline offensive marital advice movie: "Laugh your Way to a Better Marriage". It was sad because I think this time really could have been used constructively to improve military marriages, but instead it was squandered on a video that was uncomfortable, had a born again evangelical bent, and perpetuated gender stereotypes while offering no really constructive advice or information. And no, I don't have strong feelings about it. The only bright spot was that Dan just changed units and we are now reunited with the Streeters! Meaning Leana and I could chit chat and bemoan the activity together. 

Luckily this weekend we had a better Christmas Activity: a lovely concert. My accountant co-worker (who is a 38 year old unmarried LDS man who loves show-tunes, Twilight, and is willing to fly across the country to go to a Madonna concert - you do the math), was involved in a local Christmas concert. I really like him and wanted to support so I got tickets - not really expecting to enjoy it all that much. But it turned out to be quite good. They had two guest artists, Jenny Oaks Baker an amazing violinist, and a Celtic singing soloist, conducted by Craig Jessop (Music and the Spoken Word). They had a good mix of fun songs and the more serious, like my all time fave, "Oh come, Oh come, Emmanuel."

Finally, in Christmas related news - I finally got a real tree! It smells delightful - and I guess tastes delightful too as Otto likes to chew on the low boughs (which I'm not too mad about as it results in Doggie Christmas Tree breath which is preferable to Doggie Horse Poop breath.) Anna came over last Sunday and helped us deck it out in full tinsel. I'm most pleased with the outcome. 

And now the Christmas Countdown is in full swing. 

(Helpfully tracked by the countdown blocks I made last year.)

16 Days. Its on. 

Santa Baby,

If Santa came to me and was like, "Lauren, you've seriously been such a good girl this year. Money is no object, what can I bring you this year?" I'd be like, "Santa, I really want to get into road biking. I've overcome my coordination issues and can successfully bike down a road (in large part thanks to my friend Bonni). My friend Sue is getting a bunch of girls together to do a Wicked Witch Bike Relay next year. I want in. I need a light weight road bike, a bike computer - because you know I'm obssesive about tracking my pace and mileage, some nice padded pearl izumi shorts, and a helmet - saftey first Santa."

"The bike is priority number one, but if you still have room in your bag I could use some fancy clothes for work. Any pencil skirt and tailored shirt combo from j.crew is acceptable. Some nice flats so I don't fall down the stairs to Champ Hall (again) would be great. And some sparkly baubles."

"And while you're taking requests, Otto would like to this awesome Dyson Animal vacuum. Our cheap old Eureka is having trouble keeping up with all of his fur. Additionally, he would like the ability to vacuum the whole house by himself."

"Both Otto and I would like this Molly Mutt dog bed. It is made of an easily washable duvet cover that you stuff full of old clothes/blankets/pillows - totally eco friendly! And they're cute!" That's it.

Thanks Santa.