Goodbye Middle East, Hello Monterey

I finally got the heck out of the Middle East (note: i'm wearing our tour guides shirt in this picture because I was denied entry on to temple mount because my neckline was too low).

And came to my new home in Monterey California, and my eternal companion: 

And when I arrived in Monterey, Dan - who is modeling the lovely Jordanian garb I brought back for him- had already found an apartment for us. Our eternally amazing parents coordinated driving all of our stuff from our storage unit in Provo out here. Shout out to the parents (I now know my mom secretly reads this) - we really appreciated your help.

WE'VE BEEN MARRIED A YEAR. And since I was sitting in Tel Aviv on our actual anniversary, we celebrated this saturday. We went to this movie:

Which I would highly recommend if you enjoy Quinton Tarantino, blood, guts and gore. 
We went and walked around Monterey, its seriously beautiful. Never mind that the sun never shines. Its cool. 
And we finished off with a taste of our wedding cake. Well not quite. Our wedding cake was tragically lost in the Fridge/Freezer meltdown of October 2008 (I think Danielle and Jesse will remember that episode, it really was tragic). So we found a replacement. 
Cake batter icecream tastes a whole lot better than old frozen cake I'm sure... Well, its certainly been an interesting first year of marriage. I wouldn't recommend spending the majority of your first year on different continents to other people - but for us it worked. We made it through, it wasn't easy/fun, but we grew as people - or something like that. 

I ♡ Israel

Can I just start by saying that I LOVE ISRAEL! Its a first world country. There are no bed bugs. Creepy guys harassing you all the time. People hitting you with their cars. Butting you in line. Yelling at you in a language you don't understand... Best of all - I have no Arabic here. But besides that, its just a really cool place. So far we've mostly just been to biblical sites- which aren't that impressive - but are cool just to think "I'm where Jesus was, Tight."

This is a Synagogue in Capernum, where Jesus would have taught. 
Completely unrealted, but there is a kid in our group who has been catching lizards the whole time we've been in the Middle east. And he finally caught the elusive CHAMELEON. It was cool.
I just like this column from the Church of the Annunciation in Nazareth because of the demons on the sides. Check it. 
This is Masada. It was King Herod's pleasure castle. And then a bunch of Jewish Zealots holed up in here against the Romans. And when they knew they were going to lose, they committed mass suicide. Women and children and all. Now its a big Jewish Nationalism symbol. 
This is me out side of the Branch building in Tiberias. It was amazing to go to church and be able to see the Sea of Galilee out the window the whole time. And church was and hour. Sign me up. 
We went to this cool nature reserve, Tel Dan (shout out to my lovely husband) which had MORE BIBLICAL SITES. Imagine that. But it was gorgeous. And thats where the chameleon was found. 

Blood Suckers and Babies

I am very, very much ready to come home. For a myriad of reason which I will now share:
"Why?" might you ask, "Is Lauren showing us a picture of her bed covered in blood spots?"
Because of these guys! Bed Bugs! Disgusting, I know. They live in my bed, come out at night, and suck my blood. There is no way to get rid of them. Yes I looked in to every possible method. I also tried sleeping on the couch, lo and behold, they live in the couch as well. Everyday I wake up with blood spots on my clothes/sheets, and itchy bites all over my body. I'll spare you the details/pictures on that one. 
Blood suckers of another type, Arabs. I really hoped before coming here I'd be able to say "Arabs are just like us! They are so misunderstood! They are all great people!" But, In my experience, they are not. These are our arab "friends." Friends that lie to us, talk crap about us when they think we don't understand, and are completely rude. I've had enough. I'm ready to return to "my people".  Gosh I love America and Americans. 

Lest you think I am completely negative, let me share a good news minute (relief society reference.) I have a niece! This is the darling Molly McNulty. I can't wait to get home and meet her and hold her. As soon as I have de-bed-bugged myself that is. Lovely. 

Its just like Transformers, except better.

It was really funny to see Transformers 2 here because the whole audience actually stood up and clapped and got so excited at the part of the movie that takes place in Petra. Jordan doesn't make it into a lot of movies, okay? Haha. This weekend we got to go on a little adventure to actually see Petra, home of the Primes. 
Me and Angie in front of the Treasury, the most famous building in Petra. 

This is the Monastery, which is actually bigger and cooler than the Treasury - yet less well known. That may have something to do with the grueling hour long hike to get to it under the blaring Middle Eastern sun, but thats just my hypothesis...

This is how you could find me most of the weekend. Hiding in the shade reading. I had a really good book, Freakanomics, I highly recommend it. 
After sleeping (except not really because it was so hot) in bedioun tents, the next day we went on a four wheeling excursion across the desert in really ghetto old Toyotas. It was rad. 
So you know that I'm not entirely lazy and actually did other things than just read, I climbed this sand dune. Proof. In other news, Dan and I are anxiously awaiting the arrival of our first niece. And the end of this summer, so we can actually - you know - live together in the same country. We hear thats what married people do. 

AMERICA! Wadi Mujib. Cheetah Shoes!

Its been a long time since I’ve posted. Not much has been going on here, just the normal daily routine. But here’s some highlights of the last month or so…

The Cheetah Sandals Were Absolutely Necessary

If nothing else this trip has humbled me. Arabs find things totally inoffensive that are seriously offensive to a Westerner. A few weeks ago an Arab girl told me to my face that my friend Nettie is a lot prettier than me. My self confidence here is off the charts.

 But there is a quick way to restore one’s self confidence: Buy things! That’s where the cheetah sandals come in to play. After an especially humbling day. Angie and I went to Carrefour (a French Walmart) that is incidentally hooked into a mall. And there was Aldo’s. And there was my cheetah shoes. And I bought them, and felt better than I had in a long time. So now when I’m out and about and being mocked, I simply look at my feet, and everything is better.

 

4^th of July!: I used to think that living abroad was so glamorous, that anything is cooler than boring old America. I have totally changed my mind. Nothing is better than America! We are so lucky to live where we do. Especially when I look at all the rights and opportunities that I enjoy as woman in America compared to the oppression a lot of women here face, I feel really blessed. I love the USA. We Americans here had a nice little halal (no pork) bbq, sang patriotic songs, and basically just missed home. Angie and I made this beautiful Americana cheesecake. 
Wadi Mujib: I’ve seen a lot of really cool things in the Middle East, but Wadu Mujib was the most FUN thing I’ve done here. We got 10 people together and chartered a van. We went to Wadi Mujab, a big slot canyon that empties into the dead sea, right along the Israeli border. It was gorgeous! Seriously prettier than all the slot canyons I’ve seen in Utah. And, it was filled with water! The entire time we were wading, and then some parts swimming… And then some parts it was so narrow and swift we had to hold on to ropes. I felt like I was drowning and kind of panicked at some parts, and other parts I’d get pulled so hard by the current that one of the bigger guys would have to pull me. It was crazy! At the end there was a gorgeous waterfall, and then the way back all the steep scary hard parts became slides, and jumps to get down. It was awesome.

 

 

 

 

Crusades, Camels, and a Need for more Coke

Its hard to find coke in this country. Pepsi must have the Jordanian gov't in a stranglehold, which is tragic. Coke is my life source, and Egypt had it plentifully in glass bottles.
Anyway, this weekend we went on an excursion to Wadi Dana. It's the biggest nature reserve in Jordan, pretty sweet. And most importantly: filled with mangy camels. I love them. We also went to this crusader castle. The sweetest part was when we got to go in the tunnel under the castle that the Crusaders held up in while under siege. It was dark, slippery, and steep, and really cool.

Here's Dana, its pretty, but not as cool as anything in Southern Utah...
Baby donkey. Cute.
Climbing out of the tunnels. It doesn't make it look as scary cool as it was.
Here's the castle (ruins)

I'm not sure who looks more uncomfortable: me or the donkey?
I can totally read that shiz written behind me. Yeah, Im hard core. 

happychococamel

i love mangy camels more than life itself

Bidet? And other things

Life in Amman

Is going okay. Everything is just different. Sometimes different is good, but it’s hard to get used to. Class is pretty intense and we have tons of newspaper translation homework, and we’re expected to log 2 hours of speaking with Arabs on top of that. Pretty much the whole day is spent on campus. But things are pretty interesting here:

Kunafa

This dessert is out of control. So sugary. And so good. Only available in a shady alleyway downtown, and there is always a huge line of addicts waiting for it.

King Abudallah's picture is everywhere! Check him out behind Angie on the street. 

People wear way traditional clothing, and then drive Cadillac escalades... Strange

Bidet

So this country does not believe in toilet paper. I’ve taken to carrying it around in my backpack because public bathrooms do not have it. But yesterday came terrible news from our Professor. Toilet paper has been officially banned from the toilets in our apartments. I guess the Jordanian sewage system is not set up for toilet paper, and we’ve been causing trouble with the plumbing in our building… So bidets are now mandatory. Yes, we have to use that garden hose looking thing. And we have our own “bidet towels”. I’ll spare you the details, we had to be in serviced by some returned European missionaries.

Gay Neighbors

We had a class last semester where we talked about the underground gay subculture in the Arab world. Turns out they’re not so underground. Our neighbors are flamboyant homosexuals with two hideous dogs. I’ve been trying to get a picture of them in their loud clothes, but its hard to take discreet pics of your neighbors. I will continue to try. Also, they are not friendly.