FOUR

FOUR

- The number of years Dan and I have been married (year one here, and two, and three) 

- The number of places we've lived since we've been married (Provo, Monterey, SLC, Logan)

- Two of Four - the number of anniversaries we've spent in the same country (Dan is in Korea!)

Stats aside, I thought I'd take the time to do my yearly anniversary write up and record the wise knowledge I've gained on the institution of marriage... Or something like that. Recently I was sitting in a married student ward, and I looked around and saw something that initially repulsed me: newlyweds. You know, the ones who just got married this summer, who just had their one month anniversary. The ones that can't keep their hands off each other (even in sacrament meeting), the ones that seem so happy, so down right giddy about life. They made me sick. 

Then I realized, perhaps they were just making me jealous. Being married for four years in no way means were hardened marriage vetrans, but I saw in these young couples this glee about everything being so new and exciting. Though we can't necessarily make everything new again, we can still certainly make life together exciting! Right? 

I came across a blog a while ago, fittingly titled A blog about love. One post in particular "The Best tips I can give you for a REALLY, REALLY, Great Marriage" stood out to me. In some ways her list mirrored another I had read a few months back on the Huffington Post, "15 ways to stay married for 15 years." Maybe for some people it is just effortless and organic to stay blissful newlyweds forever. But I think for most of us, it takes some concerted effort. I think especially as the years go by, the more and more comfortable you get, the easier it is to become complacent and not prioritize improving your relationship. The above articles really helped me, and I can definitely feel more of the "giddy newlywed spark" when I make an effort do some of the suggestions on the list. Like when I do something special (make a nice dinner and actually set the table, or plan a fun date), be on my best behavior (ie talk nicely and watch my tone), and say thank you for everything he does (even the little things)! Even though Dan is off with Army today, he still managed to put forth a newlywed like effort to make things special:

Thank you Dan! And delivery boys, Chris and Denise. It was a sweet gesture that made my day.

And may I end with one non-sequitur gem from the Huffington post article, one which those little newlyweds in the student ward should really be told:

1. Go to bed mad. 

The old maxim that you shouldn't go to bed mad is stupid. Sometimes you need to just go to freakin' bed. "Let not the sun go down upon your wrath" is prefaced in the Bible by the phrase "Be angry and sin not." So, who's to say it doesn't mean "Stay angry, b*tches. Don't let the sun go down on that awesome fierce wrath of yours." Seriously. Whoever interpreted this to mean that you should stay up after midnight, tear-stained and petulant, trying to iron out some kind of overtired and breathy accord -- was stupid. Shut up, go to bed, let your husband get some sleep. In the morning, eat some pancakes. Everything will seem better, I swear.

Happy 4th Anniversary Dan! 

Here's to many more years of keeping the newlywed spirit alive.

And to sometimes just going to bed and waking up to a better pancake filled morning.